Wednesday, August 29, 2007

` . SICK .

i officially pronounced that im SICK !
didnt have sch todae becos trainer had finished teaching the topics for hospitality sales .
only those who had PMS wil have to go to sch .
hohos ~


just only when i had a day break , i fallen sick .
was feeling very terrible when i woke up .
my head hurts and i cld hardly walk straight becos i felt giddy . cough just occured non-stop . the feeling of me now , is like an old woman .

hahs !

awwwws ~
boohooos .

T_T .

" Get Me Cured Fast ,
I Still Have Lots Of Things Yet To Be Done. "

Monday, August 27, 2007

` totally exhausted .

many things been happened recently and i beginning to feel really exhausted and stress out !
right now , i seriously need a break !
yeahs ~
i am exhausted to the extend that im falling ill soon .
my head has been hurting real bad almost every night .
2 days ago , i had nitemare and it was terrible !
i cant slp for 2 days .
tears just flew down ...


projects are getting more .
i have been working hard on that .
its really tiring you know ?
i have to crack my brains .

rahhhhhhs ~ !

been feeling rather down todae . probably , i am just too exhausted to do anything . plus , in the afternoon, dear was feeling down becos his phobia occur to him again .
sometimes , i just felt myself being such a failure or rather, useless .
i seriously do not know what to do to overcome this phobia of his . i m trying my best to but i just do not know how .
you know , it really hurts me seeing him so down everytime . i did nothing at all to make him feel better . all i cld do was to be by his side .
i really wanna help him but i just donno how .
i felt so lost .

honestly speaking , i really regretted cutting my hair short . if i didnt cut it , all these wldnt have happen .
he wld not have even felt so hurt till now .
he wld not have even feel down as often as before .
just what have i done ?

now it happens .
the situation occurs to him now and then .
could anyone tell me how to overcome this fear of his ?

i know he does not want me to worry much for him . but everytime he feels down i know . i can sense ! infact , we can really sense each other . it just hurts me more whenever he doesnt wanna tell me things . i rather him to tell me than keeping things to himself so that i know how he felt !

please ...
please ....
stop keeping things from me anymore .
it hurts .

to dear :
just in case you are reading this entry .
dun feel bad abt it becos its not your fault at all .
i just want to help you ...
its becos i love you so .
i just cant afford myself to see you hurt .
seeing you hurt just pains me more .

im sorry .

i love you so much .
muacks !
please take good care of yourself . ((:

sigh ~
i suddenly felt ...
im really exhausted from whatever things i do .
im breaking down soon .
T_T .

" My head hurts ,
Would you heal me ? "

Tuesday, August 21, 2007

` Our passiOn rings .

was having a bad stomach ache in the morning .
the feeling was TERRIBLE !

thanks to those to gave me jackets and warm water *
=) .

thank god , i felt so much better after lessons ..
went to town with dear dear , jaslin and aikho . we split out at first as each of us had to go to different destination and we will meet up at 4pm to watch secret at cathy cineplex. hees ~ aikho got lost at orchard . then the both of us had to find her . so funny !

after buying the tickets , the 3 of us went to ps . dear and i ordered the rings . hahas ! he felt so happy .
likewise too !

thank you dear for purchasing the rings .

it was almost time ... so the three of us walked back to cathy to meet ah ning and we watched the show .
secret was really a nice movie . touching and sweet . it moved me ! dear was so cute . kept askiing me not to cry .

SORRY larhs . cannot help it ! what can i do ?
hehs .

then we exit out from the theatre . i was like .. OH SHIT ! why was my vision for right eye feeling so blur out of the sudden ? i rushed to the restroom immediately to check . then i came to realise that my right lens was gone ! i felt so heartbroken . honestly speaking , i was feeling down . i did not even wan to speak a single word while walking back to ps .

can you imagine , i saved my hard earn money for quite a period of time just to purchase $100 plus contact lens . and now , half of my money is gone ! worst still , i just purchased it not long ago !

i really felt moody throughout .

went back to collect our rings . jaslin and aikho were feeling kinda hungry . so they went down to buy some snacks first while dear and i collected the rings and put for each other .


carbon fibre rings :
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he put it on my 4th finger :
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i put on his too :
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officially engaged [ 18:30 ] :
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didnt took pictures though i wanted to as i was having weird vision .
rahhhs !
all thanks to my contact lens for spoiling my day .

haish ~ i donno whats wrong with me for the nite . i felt stress up out of the sudden .
mayb its mood swings ?
cannot be just the contact lens by itself that im feeling moody right ?
that wld sounds abt stupid !

oh wellls ~ !
gotta get a new one tml !

$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ .
rahhhhhhs !

i have to live my day without contact lens for abt a wk .
ohhhhhs ~
please let me survive !
you know i cant live without contact lens .

T_T .
" Treasure what you have around you .
The moment you realised ,
It's too late to regret . "

Saturday, August 18, 2007

` Sisters Outing .

okays ! i overslept . supposed to wake up at 12 ... but i woke up at 2pm instead. i was so terribly late .
hahas !

sorry SISTERS !

met dear at ps then walked over to cathy house to meet my darling sisters , wenting and jaslin . LOLs . when i came , i got scolding from them. haish ~ . but anw , i deserve it afterall .

=) .

wanted to watch rush hour 3 but too bad.. tickets were sold out . so we went to ps to walk around . were playing piano and organ at yamaha . awwws . i was forced by them to play a song .

rahhhhs !

i cant even remember a single piece i used to play the last time as i havent been playing my songs for more than 6 months . my skills sux like hell for now . but honestly speaking , i really miss my organ lessons i used to have it last time . i played almost everyday . what abt now ? i barely touch them at all . my diskettes were spoilt ! sighhhhh ~

mayb , i shall resume my lessons next yr ? so that i cld graduate and pursue my teacher's grade . hees ! not long after , nic called . then i sent dear to the mrt station as he had to be home for dinner .. and joined back my gals .

took a train down to somerset and walked over to heeren for sakae buffet . we ate the food as if we havent been eating for days . and you know what ? the manager seemed to has interest in wenting ! weets . somemore offered her food worrs .. too bad , he dint asked for her number .

=X .

felt so bloated after eating .. then we went over to cine as wenting needs to book tickets. we took neoprints too ! waited for desmond to arrive and i went off . jaslin accompanied me to the bus stop .
awwws ~
so sweet of her .


something amazing happened !
its my first time spotting a lamborghini gallardo ....
whees ~
it was yellow in colour .

the story goes like this ..
i was chatting with jaslin at first . somehow , i heard the sound of lamborghini . so i turned over and happened to saw a yellow lamborghini driving pass . immediately , i told jaslin to look at it . hahas ! she was screaming so excitedly and everyone turned over . i felt so paiseh but i dont care becos i saw my beloved car !

called dear to let him know as soon as i saw it . awwws. i melted already . hahas . was smiling when i board the bus . but i cant smile so much ... otherwise ppl wld say that i m crazy .

opps !
=X .

wheees ~
im so happy !

pictures to share ...

candid shot by wenting :
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at sakae ( heeren ) :
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boonting ! dun say i never put ur pic le horrs.. :
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wu GUI ( so cute ! ) i want them all ! :
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" It's a Secret ..
Between You & Me . "

Friday, August 17, 2007

` Happy First Month Anniversary !

time really flies .
on the 160807 was our anniversary .
he gave me a box in class during breaktime .
i gave him a big hug infront of everyone .

sorry * i cant help it becos i was really touched !
thanks baby , for your lovely gift .
=) .

this was what he gave me ..

1 ) a box :
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2 ) flowers [ rose ] , mini-chain & 100 plus folded hearts :
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of cos not to forget , my mini-surprise for him !
hees .
it happened during lunch time . the plan was surpposed to get nic to lure him out of sch so that i cld take out all his stationaries and put it in a new pencil case which i bought for him . beside the pencil case , it wld have a ribbon tied up with my mini-tagged i done for him .

Photo Sharing and Video Hosting at Photobucket

after that , i would keep it in his bag with a letter i wrote for him plus a bracelet which i bought for him as well .
hahas !

unfortunately , dear came to me and told me that he's not going out for lunch but going down to take a puff as he wants to study for FOM . the moment i heard , i turned to ah ning and ask her .. " HOW ? " .. so , we quickly ran down and took the gift . my hands were shivering like mad the moment i returned back to class . hahas . was so afraid he wld be back soon . then, i got nic and jaslin to arrange abit for me while i went out of class to keep a look out .

he came back not long after . then, nic kept telling him that he was dumb cos he didnt realise that the gift was right in front of him .
LOLs !

i was really glad that he really felt surprised . seeing him smiling so brightly really brightens up my day !
hahas .
i thought he cried at first. so i went up to him and he gave me a big hug but the actual fact was that he got choke by water . -_- " .. then he told me that the bracelet i bought for him was the actual one that he broke . it was so such a coincidence ! the bracelet he once broke , really meant alot to him . i knew he felt really heartbroken becos he found no reason why it broke out of the sudden . well , i shld say ... it really took me a long time to find a similar one as his . now i finally found it on tues when i went out with jaslin !


awwws ~
its fated .
also , i came to realise , this was the first time .. someone ever did such a surprise to him . hahas . i felt so honoured out of the sudden !

anyways , todae was our part for our anni becos we had to study for FOM test ytd . so we didnt go out and went out todae instead.

met dear dear at vivo . then we went walking around and began to enjoy the scenary . that got me stuck ! can you imagine ..... 5 hrs .... enjoying the scenary ? till, we were willing to skip our dinner also . LOLs !

* deeply apologies to jaslin and boon ting for joining them to watch fireworks in th end . im sorry abt it . i really felt bad . i really do . but dun worry , there wont be next time already okay ? please do not be angry with me . pang seh , NO MORE !

really enjoyed myself with him todae .
you know what ? we happened to saw lambo drove pass too !
this guy wasn't feeling well for the nite and he still wan to stay so long with me .
haish ~
i'll have to rush him back in the end becos his eyes were red .

" dear dear must take care of yourself okays ? "

muacks !

will be joining my girls tml to watch movie and sakae buffet !
=) .

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" I promise you ,
I'll Hold You Tightly Till The End Of Time . "

Friday, August 10, 2007

` RELIEVED . ((:

for the whole morning , i have been feeling distracted due to my mom's operation . was feeling very worried for her .
1115 , my sis-in-law came to fetch me . left the sch early so that i cld see my mom before going for op .

* thanks to my sisters , bung and dear for giving me moral surpport before i left sch .

went home to put down all my stuffs and helped my mom to take some of her things . then off we went to the hosp .

at 130 pm , she was being pushed into the operation theatre . my whole family were there to accompany her . i was controlling my tears very badly becos i cld feel the pain piercing through my heart but i told myself i must be strong to hang on through this .
and ..
eventually , i did it !

the moment she went in , i kept silence . sitting on the chair , praying hard to god .. hoping everything wld turn out just fine .

in the midst of waiting , i received a call from jaslin . they surprised me by telling me they were downstairs . i was shocked . then , i quickly went down to find them . i was feeling very touched indeed becos they accompanied me till my mom finished her op .

special thanks to dear dear , ning ning and bung !
you guys have really been with me despite your red eyes . i felt so bad sia . im really fortunate that i have you guys by my side . giving me moral support as well as for my mom .

they didnt dare to go up becos most of my relatives were there .
awwws ~
they were shy .
but i told my mom abt it .
she said " thanks ! "

OP was a success !! everything turned out fine ! there wasnt any cancerous cells .
i felt so relieved !

phewss ..

my frens left at 7pm then i went up to accompany my mom .
was chatting with her all the way .
she vomitted .
awwwws ~
my heart feel a little pinched but its okay becos i understand that it was just the side effects of the medication . she will be fine tml .

left the hosp at 10pm and all of us went home .
i felt so shagged .

mom will be discharged tml .
i will be her nurse for 24/7 from tml onwards .
wahahaas ~
" A sense of relieve ,
A joy of Happiness . "



whees .
time really flies .
singapore is 42 already !


was slacking at home todae .
woke up at 2pm by ah ning's call .
LOLs .

reached darling aikho 's hse at 5 plus .
helped ah ning cook .
i am the assistant chef of the DAY !
and im so proud to announce that !!
hahas .

slowly , the rest of the sisters came .
stupid boonting left so early as she had appointment with her frens !

these are the pics we took in the kitchen .

assistant chef , Geradine :
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cut Katang ( potato ) :
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chef , NING NING :
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i love the bubbles . XD :
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kantang ; ham ; mushroom :
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dOry fish :
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the CHEFS ( aikho forced us to wear the aprons ) =S :
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its done !

assam sambal prawns :
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meat Tofu :
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dory fish :
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all cooking lasted for abt 2 hrs .
and its time to EAT !

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the food were simply delicious .
ning ning has officially appointed to be the " sisters chef " .


and you know what ?
we were so lucky to catch the fireworks from her hse .
awwws ~
they were so beautiful .
we ran to her room immediately when we heard the sound of the fireworks .

what made us laughed was when aikho said this sentence :
" fireworks polluted the air ! "

becos it turned hazy .

was wishing dear to joined us but he was with his family .
oh wells ,
there's always next time .
=) .

and we started having some fun in her room ..

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evi and her bybie ( so sweet ) :
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aikho 's house rule :
* no leftovers of food .

so , all of us tried our best to finish them ...

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okays !
this is the best we cld go .
we were BLOATED !

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was watching american idol 's worst singer dvd .
and we laughed our hearts out .
it was so hilarious !
hahs .

its turning 9 plus going ten .
helped our darling aikho to wash the dishes and went home .
then i realised ,
my relatives were at my PLACE !


tml is my mom's operation .
it wld start at 2pm .

i just pray ,
everything wld be just fine and went well .

" I will be strong ...
Strong enough to pass through . "

Tuesday, August 07, 2007

` SIGH ~

my mom came to my room and told me ...
" im going operation on friday . i will be goin over to the hosp tml to book the date . "

my heartbeat stop for a second .
my eyes turned watery .
and slowly , it just flew down from my eyes .

i asked myself ..
" why ?! "
" why so early ?! "
" im not even prepared yet !!!! "

then she continued ...
" you have to do hsework for me already lo .. "

and went to bed ..

i cried further ..
its okay for me to do hsework . i dun mind . but i am just afraid of the operation day .
the pain she is taking ...

sighh ~

everything will be fine isnt it ?
i will try my best to be strong no matter wad .
i will try ..

for the moment now ,
i will be with her whenever i can .
on the day of operation , i will wait for her outside till it finishes .
i will be with her all day long .

* mummy ,
i LOVE you .
" It will be safe .
Nothing is going wrong . "

Sunday, August 05, 2007

` it hUrts .

i rather myself to suffer all these than seeing my mom going through .
it came through my mind everyday .
i wld not feel at ease till the operation ended. i know im worrying too much but i cant help it .
really .
i can't help it .
i tried to be strong but im sOrry .
i am just a weak person .

it will be a day operation .
if doc found any cancerous cells , it wld be a full day .
date of operation has yet to be confirmed.

the operation somehow just reminded me of my 2nd aunt .
the pain she went through .
i will never forget .
she has left this world but i still miss her that much .

seeing my mom feeling worried makes me worry too .
though she may not have said out but i know she feels it deep inside her heart .
my heart just sank .
and i know , these few days , she has been trying to keep herself busy to refrain her from thinking .
as a daughter of hers , i will try my best to be with her whenever i can .

god ,
i pray to you .
please dont let anything happen to my mom .
bless her with good health .
i rather be the one to be hurt ,
than seeing her suffer .
it pains me more .

i just wanna let it out for the moment ,
becos i felt so tight up in my heart .
tears flew down as i typed this entry .
i'll try to be strong whenever i can .


" Everything is gonna be alright ,
isn't it ? "

Saturday, August 04, 2007

` simpsOns =)

received an sms from my mom in the afternoon and she said she needs to go for operation becos there is a lump on her breast . therefore , it needs to be remove asap . the moment i read , my heartbeat stopped for a sec . i was shocked . why on earth does my mother had this ? why wasnt it me instead of her ? i rather myself to be pain than seeing going through all these .

at that moment of time , i really nd sometime alone to re-adjust my feelings . was feeling very down and worried . then i told myself , i gotta be strong . if my mom is strong so am i . there's one thing for sure is that , nothing is gonna go wrong no matter what .

=) .

went out with jaslin after sch . took a train down to jp first to collect our stuffs . then head down to queensway to collect my contact lens and went home to see my mom and bathe .

left the hse at 7 and took a bus ride to harbour front . the outing was surpposed to be me and jaslin only . then, when we had reached hf mrt station , dear called me and asked me to turn around and ' POP ' ! he appeared in front of me .

what a SPLENDID surprise planned by the two of them ! hahas . but i LOVE it anyway . hees . thanks arhhhs ! thanks so much .

XD .

had dinner at food republic . then i treated my ah ning donuts . it was just a mini token of my appreciation to her becos she has done alot for me . xing ku le !

oOooo . guess what ? i managed to watch Simpsons, the movie ! it was my first movie with dear . the show was so damn nice and funny . LOVE the show so so so much ! hahas .

: "remember , SAVE THE ENVIRONMENT !! "

does this sounds familar to you ?

it ended at 11 plus . then we went up to watch scenary .

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the nite scenary :
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dear dear and me :
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the longest hug ever :
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my BELOVED ning ning :
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your hands are mine to HOLD :
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left the place at 1140 pm . it was really unbearable for me to leave this place becos i just simply love the scenary . enjoying the breeze . the feeling was so relaxing ! awwws ~ but sadly to say that i gotta catch the last bus plus , i have to leave the place before midnite .

=( .

sent dear dear to mrt station then ning ning and i went to the interchange to take bus . tOoopid ! we were late ! in the end we had no choice but to catch a cab home !

duhhhhhs ~

" I will never leave you ..
unless you told me to . "

Wednesday, August 01, 2007

` it happens once again . )):

it happens once again .
2am ,
i woke up feeling weak all over . i cld not move but to do chanting to give out all my strength . i had nitemare . the feeling was simply terrible .

i felt so afraid that i do not dare to stay in my room anymore .
i went out to the balcony instead . switching on the lights .
reflecting .
though i hate being alone but i just had to becos , i do not wanna wake anyone up .
so , all i cld do was to msg dear and jaslin .
i made a promise to them before .


thanks to her , she really kept me company but i told her to slp after awhile as i do not wanna bother her too much . at the same time , i nd some time alone too .
i did not manage to catch a wink after that . tears just keep flowing down .

dad fetched me to sch in the morning . my eyes were real swollen that i cld hardly open them . friends asked me what happen . i did not answer them but to remain silent . not long , i cld no longer take it and lost my emotions eventually . i cried my whole heart out . the pain was simply terrible .

thanks to my sisters and dear for hugging me .. lending their shoulders for me to lean on . im really fortunate to have you all by my side . really ! i LOVE you all yeps ?
i will be strong .

had lunch with them at coffee shop then i went to jaslin 's hse to take a short nap . though its only for awhile , its better than nth .

fortunately , i felt so much better after that .
woke up at 215 pm . thinking that lesson starts at 230 pm . so i was kind of rushing ah ning wondering why she didnt she woke me up . but the fact is that , lesson starts at 3 pm . phewwww !

LOLs .

the both of us ended up watchin blue clues . hahas ! i love watcing that cartoon . its so cute ! was entertaining jaslin by singing the blue clues song .

alrights ,
it was 230 pm . i wanted to change back my uniform as i was wearing her shirt .
this woman dun wanna let me change ! and she started suggesting to piggy back me to see how heavy i was . hahs ! so funny .

she took me when i was sleeping :
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i was forced to take a pic of myself with her shirt :
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Piggy-back :
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we got ourselves changed after that and head back to sch . i was smiling already . all thanks to them ! though im still tired .

lesoon ended at 4 pm . i accompanied dear dear home todae for the first time . took train instead of bus . he was so happy till he said so many "Thank Yous " to me .

LOLs .

i just wanna make it up to him as i really felt bad for him worrying for me so much . luckily i did not catch the bus ride home as i was feeling giddy and i felt so much like vomitting too . wasnt feeling really well . so , i did the right choice afterall .
xD .

honestly speaking ,
i have never really really smiled for a long time . its him who had really done so much for me till my life has really brighten up so much .

dear dear ,
thank you for everything !
i LOVE you sooooo much !
mwahhhhs ~

awwwwwwws ~
gonna have hotel security test tml . i really do not have the mood to study as im so tired !
rahhhhhhhs ~
i have to force myself to study !
i cannot flunk !!
NO wayyyy !


" Being with you ,
Its the sweetest part of my LIFE . "