*_stRessEd_*

these few days..i am tired..i am totally exhausted..i donno wad to do..!! can anyone help me..?? let me update to ya these few days..

on mon..went for my hospital appt abt my hand...he says..my hand is ok..perfect normal..but why am i facing pain and shivering or even electric feeling systoms..?? and he said...it might be cause of my stress..which i totally do not agree...!! haishhh...anw, i feel dat it just a waste of time seeing these docs...they just donno wads wrong with me..if i noe..my mother wld brought me to my family doc..who can cure me fast..!! he even noe wads wrong with me..but becos the fee is ex..my mother do not wan to...

and dat hosp doc still ask me go see a psychitrist[isst like dis spelt?].in my mind i was like..No..!! no way i gonna see..!! den he refering me to this erm..writer's cramp doc..yepx..!! and my appt is like 30/11...i doubt i will go...haishh..wadeva larhh..

tues was my 'o' lvl chinese prelim..i ask my mum to wake me up at 5am..to carry on my revision...but i couldn't wake up..!! in fact..i dreamt of myself..having tuition so early..for chinese..and my dad scolded me for doing so...and i shouted in my dream.."cos i am having exams todae..!!"...does this dream means dat..i am worrying too much..and i am too stressed up..?? haish..den my mother was like nagging at me.."if u don wanna wake up den sae so..!! don wake me up so early just to wake u up..!!" i noe i was in the wrong...but i am just too pek chek..!! guess noone understands my feeling..onli myself..

i told her dat i have chinese prelim todae..i told her b4..and she blames me for not telling her..and she just keep on nagging and nagging..repeating the same stuff...and i couldn't stand it anymore..!! i shouted at her.."STOP DISTURBING ME..!! JUST GIB ME A BREAK..!! I AM SO STRESS..!! I AM SERIOUSLY BERI STRESS..!! JUST LEAVE ME ALONE...!! I EVEN DREAM OF MY EXAMS..!! JUST GIB ME A BREAKK..!!" i broke down..totally...i cried...!! my mum got so pek chek..dat she shouted at me back.."I GUESS WAD THE DOC SAID WAS RIGHT..U ARE UNDER STRESS..I BETTER MAKE AN APPT WITH THE DOC TO GET U A PSYCHITRIST..!!"..i kept quiet..i hate to see psychitrist...i realli don wish too....

seriously..i realli regretted shouting at her...realli...i was totally in the wrong...haishhh..during sch..i was feeling beri moody...i kept thinking abt the things dat i ve done..haishhh..during my chinese paper...i hope i did well...yepx..!!

didn't go to sch todae...as i wass having a bad stomach ache..been going to toilet...donno wad i ate ytd..and jess sent me a msg abt my results..wad shi fu sae was right...he said my humanities and sci will fail..and its true...i was kinda happy dat i improve some of my subs..but still i feel down...whyx..?? becos i got more than 10 pts...if i got more than dat..i wld retain..

my frens are all worried abt me..so am i..!! i promise them i will work hard..and i make sure i can do it no matter wad..!! i guess my mind is gonna burst sooner or later..but i don care..!! all i care is...now..!! i gonna set my goal..3 pts..!! 3..pts..!! dats my target..!! geradine..!! u can do it..!! and i believe soo..!!

now..i am still feeling beri low.....how i wish i could get all my troubles away...i am realli tired..!! can anyone help me..????????? arHhhhhhh..!!