Monday, October 29, 2007

` HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR !

didnt attend sch todae as i had to stand 5 hrs in the kitchen . mom and dear were worried . i was feeling afraid as well . so i decided to rest at home . went with mom for acupunture at around 2pm .

todae was really painful . it worse than the previous times . he exert alot becos he did both acupunture and rubbing together at the same time . for this time , i teared and perspire . yeahs ! both together . really painful !

SIGH !

i guess i am having phobia of going already . the moment i stepped into the clinic , my heart would just beat fast . i was really scared . not of the needles but the pains that is affectin me .
GRRRS ~

after acupunture , my leg was in real pain . i cld not even put flat . so mom and i took cab home . waited for michelle to arrive becos i asked her to pass me my books .
THANKS mich !

she came over at 445 . then we took a cab down to buy cake for dear's birthday . its his actual one todae . after buying we went to meet wenting and jaslin . both of them so poor thing, they were perspiring like hell cos they had to rush down as we were planning to surprise dear . they ran from jaslin's place to the mrt station .

once they reached , wenting called aikho pretending to feel anxious and said she fell down on the escalator . she was bleeding badly . so , she needs aikho's help . dear , nic and aikho were together . they walked over . wenting still sat on the floor . act act as if she was in pain . hahas ! can be hollywood actress le larhhs !

when he came ,
TALA ! sang him birthday song . hees ! to think he actually believed it . funny ! dear dear was feeling so surprised . after that , we went to mac to chit chat and ate the cake together as well as passing the present to him .

nic and the sisters bought him lambo model . lucky i didnt buy . i almost wanted to buy that . PHEW ! he was very happy . well, its nice seeing him smile ! =)

i was feeling very tired during that time so i did not really chat much . i had no idea why do i always felt so tired after acupunture ? mayb i used up all my strength ? hmms ~ no idea . left the place at 7 plus and we took a train back .

rahhhhhhs !
my leg is feeling so pain again . a little electric current feeling . i cant really put straight again . im mostly dragging myself where i go ..
T_T .
hope that i wld feel better tml . please get me well .

anyway ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEARIE !
i had surprised you twice ! hees .
LOVE YOU LOADS ALWAYS ..
my journey with you will never end .
it will go on and on till the end of time ......
MUACKS !

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" Go away ...
Get this pain off me . "

Sunday, October 28, 2007

` feet & ankle HURTS ! ouch !

was having nitemare last nite .. dreaming that i was instructed to kill a baby ? putting him/her to slp or by suffocating it . it gets real scary okays ? imagine a new born child . so adorable and i had to kill it with my own hands ? i was basically force to . as a person who really loves baby so much . how cld i possibly kill it ?

NO WAY !
HELL NO !

i was screaming and crying in my dream . i really felt terrible . i was actually awoken by my screams . then i realise , PHEW ! it was just a bad dream . it will never be true . my heart was beating fast . i think i woke my mom up too . she shake me a little to wake me up and i shut my eyes again pretending nth happen .

Awwwws .. i was feeling so afraid . so i msged dear to calm me down a little and it HELPS !
XD !
thanks dear dear ..

after that i got off and my bed . i was like OUCH ! my left feet is hurting !
EEEKKS !
looks like i over exert myself on sat already . i walked too much .
T_T .
then i told myself , im not gonna walk anymore and stay at home to rest .

so geradine was being a good girl todae . she stayed at home and watch her tv .. socalise abit with her family here and there . hahs !
went out for dinner with my uncle and cousins to clarke quey area and ate bak kut teh .

HMMMS ~
it can somehow fight with balestier one . it taste quite good . i dun mind going there again but i still prefer the one at balestier .
heees !

after dinner , we went to central to walk around the mall . rahhhhs ! my feet hurts and im still walking . i was basically dragging myself .
GRRRRS ~

when i reached home . O_O . i felt so relieved . im not gonna walk anymore becos it really hurts. i was wondering how am i going to stand for the whole day tml during principals of cooking . can i take it ? should i go for it ? or not to go ?

awwwws .
will see how it goes tml . hope im able to .
=) .

gonna go for acupunture tml after school . rahhhhhhhs ! im prepared this time round but im also scared .
LOLS .

" Take away this pain of mine .
I wanna walk well like others do . "

` Special birthday celebration

yeahs ! im back to school already ever since thurs . trying to adapt the school's environment once again . it was pretty hard climbing up and down the stairs but im going to get used to it !

was feeling rather lethargic when i woke up in the morning . head was feeling heavy and my ankle was kinda pain . had no idea what is happening . was surpposed to go for acupunture but i wasnt mentally prepared becos of the pain and i had to use quite a number of strength to endure the pain . it was really painful . so , i did not go in the end and decided to go for it on monday .

i skipped vocal class as im still on hospitalization leave and i wasnt feeling rather well either . at 1pm , i started working on dear dear's present which i had planned since monday .. finalise everything before i enter sentosa with jj and darling .

todae is the day where i am going to hold an advance birthday celebration with my dear dear .
=) ..

ytd , was busy preparing dear dear's cookies and cake at jaslin's house . its my first time baking a cake for someone so i hope it tasted nice though it looks abit ugly larhs ! hahas .

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wanted to design the cake with icing sugar in the beginning but i messed everything up so i did this in the end .

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however , the next day i made it look better by putting M and M s on the cake .
=) ..

spent almost 4 hrs on baking the cakes and cookies .. feeling so tired when i went home .

THANKS NEK NEK FOR TEACHING AND HELPING ME OUT ! muacks !

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alrights ! come back with todae . these are the gifts i prepared for dear dear ..

rose petals from the bouquet dear dear gave me . i took out 3 of them . it has some meaning in it . it meant ..
I LOVE YOU .

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the cookie jar ( designed by myself with the help of darling by taping for me using double sided tape. ) :
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wanted to get snoopy for him becos i know he loves it . unfortunately it cant be found so i got pooh bear for him instead :
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his birthday card :
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the cookies in the jar :
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everything kept inside the box :
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FINAL PRODUCT :
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once everything has settled , took a cab down with the two of them due to my leg .. then we took the train down to sentosa . was carrying his heavy present all the way to the beach .
TIRING ARHHHS !

walk walk walk till we finally found a place to settle down and discussed everything through once again . digged a hole to hide dear dear's present . wrapped it around with newspaper .
LOLS .
so that it does not get dirty ..

then i quickly walked back to the train station and off to meet dear dear becos he msged me said he was reaching soon .
EHSS ! its really diffcult to bluff him throughout okays ?
=P .

i was a little late and yeahs ! i met him . miss him so much and i felt bad for not being able to be by his side when my classmates were at his hse celebrating his birthday . as a gf of his , i wasnt around .
AWWWWS .
but i had my reasons too . hees .

alrights , we went to find darling and JJ . was feeling very heartache for the present i had done for him becos he was stepping on it ! the present was covered with sand and he wanted to destroy it somemore becos he had no idea what was it at all . i was feeling so afraid that he might find out so i looked elsewhr instead . i crossed my fingers , praying hard that he wld not find out at all . PHEW ! after that , both of us were feeling awkard becos something was definately wrong with darling and JJ . however , the both of them just wouldnt wan to admit as they were afraid that they may spoil the mood . actually the fact was , the more u kept from us , the more we were worried . but i was glad that things turned out fine not long after .

the sunset :
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darling prepared omelette for dinner . we ate together and i fed my dear dear . hees ! then after that , i brought dear dear out to stroll along the beach while the both of them helped me prepare the surprise for him . when we were abt to reached back , i asked dear to close his eyes . it was time to do the surprise and also to test him how much he trust me . hehs hehs !

i held his hand and looked at him , making sure that he was closing and brought him to darling there . then i passed him to her while i went to take the cake . the lane was filled with candles and i walked along the lane.. bringing the birthday cake to him . finally , i asked him to open his eyes and sang him birthday song .

the birthday cake :
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the candle lane :
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he was seriously touched and speechless . i was really glad that the surprise turned out to be a success ! after which i asked him to find his present . i went together with him to find it.
wahhhs !
my dear dear so smart . he found the present pretty fast . then , he opened it . he was feeling very happy . he hugged me immediately . awwws .

dear dear digging for present :
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toopid camera was temporary out of order as i cant seem to take pictures with .
GRRRRS !
had to use my hp instead . the place was rather dark so could not really capture much ..
)):

went home at around 1030 . i was feeling rather shagged and my feet hurts as i walked too much todae . despite all the pain , its all worth it . im really glad that he is happy .

SPECIALLY THANKS TO MY DARLING for helping me out to buy the gifts becos i was on crutches that time .. troubling her going up and down . also , for planning out with me .. preparing his birthday celebration . one last thing , THANK YOU FOR UR DINNER TOO ! muacks ! not to forget , JJ as well for helping out !

Its really a great memorable day ! it was the first time i actually prepared and spent so much for a person ( excluding my family ) . this shows, how much he meant to me .

I HEART YOU SO MUCH DEAR DEAR !
muacks !


his actual birthday falls on the monday 29 oct but i decided to make it todae becos i wanna make it special and also i wanted to celebrate with him alone as well . this month we had actually gone through quite alot and i know its really tiring for him . so at the same time , i wanna thank him as well .

=) .
i really hope he enjoyed himself .
feeling so shagged for now .. going to turn in soon .
TA-TA !

" Special event ..
To a special person in my life . "

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

` HAPPY BIRTHDAY MUMMY !

at 12am midnite . i walked to her . gave her a mini surprise by singing her a birthday song . she smiled at me . i could tell she was rather glad . hees ! smiling away .

my brother , sis-in-law and me shared an ang pao and gave her .
cant tell you the amt . its a SECRET !
hees .

i was so happy ytd becos i finally realise i can walk without crutches anymore . though my leg still hurts a little but im sure its improving alot already ! i had achieved my task !

YEAHHS !

was feeling rather stress in the afternoon . kept on sighing whole day and i teared becos many things were up in my head . sch stuffs , my health and many many more . i even had nitemare in the morning . only dear knows . i hope it will never come true.

anyway , whatever it is .. im not thinking abt it anymore . just gonna keep telling myself to look ahead and thats what its gonna be .

im returning to sch tml .
MISS ME ?
hees .
i miss u guys badly larhhs !

but this time , i gonna be real careful becos the sch is not gonna be responsible of any extra injury i have due to my MC . it is not over yet. my classroom level will be on the 2nd lvl except for F & B operations . i will slowly climb up . had to get used to it . otherwise staying at home will really make me go crazy !!

GRRRRS ~

Tomorrow will be a better day .
XD !!

Once again ,
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO MY BELOVED MOM !
muacks !!


" Look ahead ..
Tomorrow will be a better day . "

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

` ` Caught in the middle ?

i was feeling alright in the morning . in fact , i was rather happy becos my leg has improved ! im able to put my feet flat and i am able to walk to one crutch only .

its a good news isn't it ?

but then , something just spoiled the moment . my mom called my course tutor and they were discussing it about my issue . then , she started discussing with me .. telling me abt it how the way it shld be . at that moment of time , i was feeling rather fed up . i almost lose control of my temper . tears in my eyes . i felt so uncomfortable . rather emotional .

i know the school is worried . i know my mom is worried. in fact , i know everyone is worried abt my condition . i cant climb up the stairs in sch becos the stairs were rather steep especially when using my crutches to do it .

people were concern abt my health but i am more concern abt my school stuffs . i missed so many things and im starting to get worried over it . especially my practicals . i am not so worried abt my theories . im worried more on the practicals becos i dun get to observe , i dun get to try . then how am i gonna catch up and learn ? at least for theory , im able to read through and those that i do not understand , i can either ask my trainers or my frens to help me out .

this sem is not easy and there's simply too much to learn ! i wanna get back to sch fast but my leg is giving me problems . staying at home everyday just make me feel so uneasy . i told my frens or anyone that i had 25 days of MC is like a vacation to me . im enjoying myself but the fact is that i'm basically not ! i felt so uncomfortable staying at home . i thinking more on my school work and at the same time i wanna recover as well . i need to stay at home and rest.

i felt myself being caught in the middle . i dun wanna think so much but yet im feeling this way . i teared becos i just simply cant take it anymore .

RAHHHHS !
i donno what the hell am i thinking . just wanna take this load away from mine . its obstructing me !

planning to celebrate my mom's bday todae . i dun wanna spoil the mood as well . so let's just smile and be happy !
xD .

GRRRRRRRRRS !
I WANNA GET TO SCHOOL FAST !
hopefully by thurs im able to return back ..

" It's really exhausting to go on further ..
But just hang on , it's gonna be over soon . "

Monday, October 22, 2007

`` back to the way we are .

im feeling better already . thank you people for being there for me . mom was mentioning abt my dad again . i was voicing out my feelings.. not entirely but part of it . just felt like tearing again but i held on .

anyway , im back to normal again . its no use hiding yourself in one corner . why not just do it this way . just come out from your shell and look how beautiful life is ? wont that be a better way ? the world is beautiful isnt it ? look ahead of your life instead of stucking yourself in the shell . not coming out . it will end out torturing yourself .

i mayb down . but not to worry, i cooled down pretty fast and see ! im back to myself again . firstly , i dun wanna torture myself . secondly , i dun wan people around me to worry abt me . lastly , i wanna be a happy-go-lucky girl .

((:

jaslin came to my house todae . delivering curry chicken . thats what they did in the kitchen in the morning . hahas ! its nice though .. but too bad i cant eat much becos of my injury . cant take too much spicy food arhs . no cold , no sour , no spicy ! sounds pathetic ehhs ?

you know what ? instead of sher accompanying me , she ended up sleeping on my bed instead . PIG !! only know how to eat , slp , eat , slp .
hahas !
(she's gonna kill me if she read this sentence ) .
=P .

but cant blame her as well becos due to her stomach cramps last nite , she cant really get herself to slp . poor girl ! so , a kind soul like me , decided to let her slp on my beddie .
xD .

left the house at around 730 pm and dad fetched me to see chinese physician with my mom .
ACUPUNTURE again !
very pain arhhhhhhhs ... this time instead of tears , i was perspiring instead .

LOLS .

then we went bukit merah . mom wants to buy some stuffs from NTUC . when we reached the carpark, i wanted to stay there becos my leg was in pain after doing the acupunture and some rubbing on it as well . then my dad keep forcing me to get out from the car as he thought i was being lazy and he wants me to exercise ! but to me , its not me being lazy . i dun mind walking but the fact that it was painful . i was kinda fed up with him arhs .

however , i cooled down after a while later .
RAHHHHHS !
why do i always have to give in to him ?
STUPID !

i had no choice but to bear with the pain and walk lo . he went to the bank first to do some account stuffs while me and my mom walked to NTUC . as i cant take it , my mom walked in front and i waited for her outside NTUC . when my dad came , he said i looked like a BEGGAR standing outside and asked me to walk in with him .

OMG !! cant he sound nicer ? must he sound until so unpleasant again ?
GRRRRRRS !

anw , the both of us are fine now larhs . nothin wrong . i m bringing things back to normal again . including with my sibling as well . haish ! no choice larhs . you'll always have to give in if u are the youngest . becos why ? most of the elders will think they are always right and the younger ones shld listen to them .

even if u voice out to them how you feel , they will know and change the fact a little then not long after , they will be back to whr they are again .
=( .

ARHS !
i dun wanna think about it anymore . just simply HATE thinking of NEGATIVE stuffs . make my life more miserable only .

i just wanna be myself and go on with my life . hopefully tml will be a better day .
gonna celebrate my mom's bday tomorrow . heees !
2 more days to her birthday !!

I LOVE HER !

unfortunately , there would be a very little chance of me giving that goal i wan to her becos till now , my leg is still pain . but i will not give up . i will perservere till the end ! i wanna get cure fast . i wanna ease her worry . i wanna see her smile . i wanna see everyone smile !!

once i see all these ,
that would the happiest thing i had in my life.

because i have achieve what i want !
((:
and this day is definately gonna come ! not now , not later but soon .

Let's wait and see ..........

" I am not giving up ,
Never will I do that ! "

Sunday, October 21, 2007

` 2 hurts at one go . how am i surppose to take this ?

in the middle of the last nite .. i just came to find out . the passerby in my tagboard happens to be someone in my family . how did i found out ? becos i was using my brother's laptop and turn out that passerby nickname to be there on my blog's tagboard .

why ?
why must you let me find out ?

its really a great shock and disappointment to me ! now i actually realise how my family actually knows me . now i finally realise though i have a loving family and i love them as much as they do but they do not understand my inner feelings at all .

all along i have been trying my best to be a good daughter . to be someone good in the family . trying my best to change myself for the better . trying my best to socialise and be with them . but never did i expect my family is treating me this way .

yes !
i may not show out . but that doesnt mean i do not care . you guys know i do not even know how to express myself out ! though my page mayb thankful to all my frens , but u do not know much love i care for my mom more than my frens ! its simply countless .

2 hurts at one go .. tell me how am i surppose to take it ? one is my dad and another is my sibling . i love them so much and this is what i get in return .

THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR RETURNING ME SUCH A WONDERFUL PRESENT !

i am really tired ...
i really felt like fainting ...
i really dunno how to go on anymore ...

days leads by .. i will still live my life with it . whether its wonderful or not . i seem not to have any feelings anymore . since they do not understand me then let it be . but there's one thing for sure , i will still love them as ever . i always treated them as my no.1 and im also sure one day they will understand me more as well . but just that , it takes time .

i had nightmare last nite as well . slept around 4 plus . things seem to be so complicating and it happens to turn out ..that .. why am i dreaming of that jerk i had in my life once again ? why did i dreamt of him again ? im not thinking of him but why is he appearing in my life ? the hurt he gave me will never be forgotten .

one sentence ,
I HATE HIM !

but come to think of it ? why am i bothered by it so much . what for should i care ?
hahas !
mayb im just feeling too hurt .

i feel pains all over me .....
emotionally , physically and mentally .

you know i just thought of something .. as mom's birthday is coming . i wanna set my aim that im gonna stand up once again without clutches. walking normally as other people do on the 24th OCT . and i guess , that would definately make my mom smile . i just wanna see her smile once again . i know she is tired. so i would make the best out of it ! i will set this aim and i will try my best to achieve it . for my mom , im willingly to do anything to make her smile.

=) .

I LOVE YOU MUMMY !

GERADINE ,
YOU CAN DO IT !


looks like , there's only one person who understands me in my family and thats my mom . sad to hear isnt it ?
hahas !
then let it be ...

was at the balcony last nite to relax myself before i go to sleep . tears just went down repeatedly and i cried my whole heart out . this time is really the time i get real hurt deep inside my heart . when i woke up in the morning , i saw my dad . i dunno . i just dun wanna face him . i cant bring myself to talk to him . and when i saw my bro and sis-in-law coming back from sentosa . tears just rolls again .

im gonna hide myself in the room .. i will not be going out . i cant bring myself to face them . all becos im deeply hurt .

it takes time to recover myself from hurt once again . not now but mayb a few days later . don't worry , i will be fine . nothing will put me down and i'll still stand strong .

" You will never know how much it pains me ,
Once i found out the truth . "

` Hurt deep within me .

some videos to enjoy from ytd nite .
we got teacher , lye shan hao to entertain us a little ..























alrights all those were just some mini entertainments .
((:


went to visit the chinese physician todae . did acupunture and it pains the hell outta me . it was ever the first time i teared in pain during acupunture . never in my life did i suffer so much . it wasnt my first time doing it but just that this time it really hurts !


he was viewing the med which the hosp doc gave me and he said those medication were all painkillers . it doesnt even help my nerves . what i hurt most was 2 points of my nerves . the 4th and 5th one . this fall was really serious . from now , i had to visit him twice a week to do acupunture before he cld really rub my leg to loosen up my nerves . becos if he were to really rub on my back . once he hurt it , thats it ! i would either be paralysed or another serious injury wld happen again .


oh god , BLESS ME !


the feeling of acupunture was like needle poking into my kneel . and he just shake the needle to loosen up my veins . it really hurts becos it just like you yourself getting electricuted.
thats how painful it was .


dad fetched me home..
got myself prepared and waited for my two marias , aikho and jaslin to come to my hse ... then , we took a cab down together to dear's house . nic and mich were there as well . was kinda pissed off with the cab driver's attitude . but seeing him was an old man , i didnt really bother much larhs .


anw , we had dinner and watched movie together . i was feeling rather exhausted becos i gave in all my strength during the acupunture . i cld barely smile . then i finally K.O on dear's shoulder . everything was doing fine till my dad came over to fetch me . he was feeling irritated just becos he cant find dear's home .


yeahs . i know its difficult but must you vent your anger on me ? what wrong have i done ? and must you say those unpleasant stuffs which really hurts me ? i told him i was there just becos i wan him to know so as not to worry too much . i compromise him so much and yet i get this kind of results ? isst fair to me ? no let me put it this way , are you being fair to me ?


after the incident i had last time , i have been trying my best to keep up a good relationship with him . do you know how hard issit to communicate with him ? just becos of one location he cant find , i just have to let him vent anger on me ? why cant he just understand how i felt ?


the reason of me joining my frens was because i just wanna be happy . its not that i am unhappy being with my relatives . i was surppose to go to my aunty house with my parents . it was a last min decision but i chose to be with my frens . why ? becos i wanna relax my mind after going through so much . do you know , its really hard for me to stay strong all this while and i really tried my best to do so . yet , i get tis kind of result !


the rest had to leave at 1130pm . it was late and they had to catch the last train . so i let them go off first . as a result i was left in house waiting for my parents . like that also got wrong mehs ? its not as if we did something dirty wad . you just have to be considerate .. if they waited for me , they had to take cab . then i ask you , dont you think its selfish . asking them to keep me company then in the end they had to take cab home ?


i know .. i know u are worried . i know you do care . but i just need your understanding . if u keep thinking this way then how am i surppose to communicate with you ? i wanted to argue back to you in the vehicle but mom told me not to do so .. in order not to make the situation worse and i dun wanna make things difficult for us as well . its really very exhausting . especially for me and my mom being caught in the middle .


i really hate this ! i really hate this phrase of yours ! it really hurts me from the bottom of my heart . i dun care whether u read this anot . i just wanna say out how much it actally hurts me . if u wanna control .. stopping me to see my frens. GO AHEAD ! then dun blame me from being even more rebellious !


TRY ME !
I WILL DO THAT !
I SWEAR THE HELL OUT OF THAT !




oh ~ and do you know something ? once i heard you are boiling ? i thought i cld cool you down a little by rushing up fast . i even gave up my clutches climbing up the steps despite how much pain am i having . so that i cld reach faster .


my leg really hurts so much now ... im willing to risk my leg regardless how much pain am i having but in the end , i got so much hurt becos of the words you gave me . so this is what i get as a result .


THANK YOU SO MUCH !


i thought after being discharged from hosp everything wld be back to as normal but never did i thought , problems come after another . tell me , how much more do i have to go through ? im really , truely , freaking exhausted from all these stuffs !


when will i ever lead a normal , peaceful life ?

" Trust is what i need from you ..
Is it so hard to achieve ? "

Saturday, October 20, 2007

` What is going on ?

i have been browsing through my fren's blog . especially my close one or even my best fren . what has been happening when i was away ? why isst when i read it ? things have changed so much ?

what is happening to jessica , my marmie ?
what is happening to junping , my sweetie pie ?
what is happening to jia en , my darling ?

etc etc ..

im not afraid to mention names because i do care for them but what breaks me was .. why are they feeling this way ?

its not that i have neglected them . its not that i have left them all alone . its not that i dun wanna meet them . but the problem is that , so many things have been happening to me . i dun even have time to enjoy myself these days . you know ? its simply hard for me to carrying on though i have been trying so hard to .

i just wanna tell you guys that . please do not break friendships . i dunno whats going on but its really heartbreaking to see all of you like this . i apologise for not being there by you girls side . i know everyone has its own point of view but isnt there this say , forgive and forget ?

think , you girls have been each other for years . you spent good times and bad times together . are u girls willing to give up just like that ? i dunno . i really dunno how you girls think . but if you girls think that this is going to be the way . if this really makes your life easier then so be it . i have nth to say . i respect you girls decisions .

whatever it turns out to be , im always here for you girls . i may not be the best adviser , i may not be there in person but rest assure .. a listening ear is always available for you girls . im really saying this from the bottom of my heart and i really mean it . you girls will never face it alone . i promise i will face it with you all as well .

please stay strong . i dun wanna lose friendships neither do i wanna see breaking up of friendships just like that . it really breaks the hell out of me !

just remember ,
I LOVE YOU GIRLS LOADS !
and i really treasure our friendships we had .

anyway , jaslin , dear , nic and aikho came to my hse todae to visit me . we had some fun and jaslin was the chef . will post the video soon when its uploaded . =) . they left around 1130pm .

to passerby who tagged my blog . i dunno who u are and i dun care who u are . i do admit that i have left out mentioning my mom in my blog though its just the word, " family " . though i may not have written it . but you do not know how much i thank her during all these while during my stay in the hosp . i may have written so many thanks to my frens in my blog but all these cant compare how much thanks is to my mom .

she is the best mom i have ever had in my whole life .
words will never be enough to describe how much i love and treasure her .

gonna go to chinses physican tml .
wish me luck on my pain becos its gonna hurt real bad .
=(

" I dunno how much more pain am i going through ,
But I'm just gonna hang on right till the end of time . "

Thursday, October 18, 2007

`` Hospitalised --

i was hospitalised in NUH ever since monday till todae . it leads trauma to everyone . i was basically in huge pain .

alrights , the story goes like this ..
on monday after sch , i came out from the kitchen . it was very greasy becos of the oil so i was being very careful . never did i thought the staircase was wet as well . though i was holding on the the railing , it gave no help to me at all . i slipped and fell . eventually i hurt my backbone . its a definate that i was in huge pain . frens came to me to SOS . the trainer called the ambulance and told me not to sleep becos i was semi-concious. they were afraid that i may fell into coma . in the beginning i thought i was half paralysed becos i felt nothing on my left leg .

not long ambulance came . they helped me . i was tearing in pain . being pushed into ambulance . was surpported by the safety equipments and gave me oxygen mask to breathe . then , i was sent to NUH .

in the A and E , i was injected 4 injections to release the pain . was feeling very giddy and nauseous . did X-ray . was stuck in the observation ward for abt 8 hrs or so . then finally , i was sent to ward .

BIG THANKS to my classmates who followed me all the way with the ambulance and also , the director of shatec as well who stayed all the way till 5 pm to make sure i was fine .

in fact , i wanna thank alot of people who came to visit me . especially to my darling jia en , JJ , adrian , my family and relatives , doris , linda , blue , tutor , my sisters and bungs and as well as my dear dear .
XIN KU NI MEN LE !

these were the gifts my lovely classmates and relatives actually gave to me ...
each represents one of us by my sisters and bung :
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messages from trainers and classmates ( abt 50 in total ) :
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fruit basket from my school ( exclude the hellokitty ) :
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flowers from aunty JO , Cindy Jie and Lawerence Kor :
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wu gui and hellokitty from my beloved nek nek :
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guess what ? on tues , it was me and dear dear's 3rd month anniversary and he gave me a mini-surprise . hahas ! and the funny thing was , he got my classmates to help him as well .
hees ~
i HEART him so much becos he touches me loads . im seriously fortunate to have him by my side and most imptly , i have truely found someone who really loves me for who i am .
im being blessed !
muacks !

this was what he gave me ..
a bouquet of roses ( 7 of them . he told me it represent everylasting love ) :
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a cutie penguin :
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hahas. this penguin cld really make me smile becos its simply too adorable . i can make him any shape i want . =) .
im glad that i gave him the best gift in return as i was being strong in recovering and it did not put me down at all .
it all thanks to you guys for giving me moral surpport all these while .

MUACKS TO YOU EVERYONE !

some pics who visited me ...
my dear dear :
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my beautiful sisters ( whr's my evi ? MIA ) :
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im better right now . did physio in the afternoon as my left leg is still feel numb . im still unable to walk steadily . doc say fortunately everything is ok . i did scans and all that . no fractures , nothing . it was just muscular sparsm that i hurt thats all . so , it takes a week or 2 to really fully recover . what surprised me was i actually got 25 days MC ! i was like O_O . but not to worry , i will definately be back to sch next week so as not to miss so much lessons .

((:

I MISS EVERYONE IN SCHOOL !
they were all waiting for me to be back as well .

hees .

right now , i wld have to depend on clutches to make me go on walking . gonna start from scratch . dun worry people . im doing pretty fine . though it hurts but i will bear with the pain .

im in the midst of RECOVERING .
YAYS !
spent 4 days in hosp is really a no joke .
RAHHHHHS .
being at home , its still the best after all .

HOME SWEET HOME ! ^^

" I will give in all my best ,
To make this a good one . "

Sunday, October 14, 2007

` HOUSKEEPING !

photos on friday at bedok with my nek nek ..
my BA CHOR MEE !
XD .

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just love eating there .
((:

anyway , frens out there , dun have to worry too much abt me . i'm fine now yeps ? its basically no use being solemn all the time becos u will end up torturing urself . so why not just look on the other brighter side of life ? it wld just made ur life so much beautiful !
agree with me ?

Geradine is gonna be a strong girl and nothing is gonna put her down . she may breaks down for a day but she will be back to normal again the next day .
and thats gonna be my attitude !

POSITIVE ( + )

been doing housekeeping . keeping myself busy during the weekends . and you know what ? both of my left leg and hand are aching like hell ! hand was becos of the tray carrying .. and leg was becos of my cramp i had on friday .
sheeet !

due to my pain , i had no choice but to cancel my driving lesson at the very last minute .
T_T .

so in the end , i shall be a good girl and do housekeeping at home . packed my cupboards on saturday and nek nek came to help me ! she was my maria. even my mom agrees that too . hahas !

THANKS NEK NEK FOR VOLUNTERRING TO HELP !
muacks !

look how messy it was ...
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cleared the cupboard :
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sorting out my books :
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managed to clear all my secondary sch books . anybody wants please let me know . im willing to give them away.. though i know syallabus have changeD . but i have some relevant notes to give away and it might help .

((:

as for todae , i cleared my toys cupboard . for goodness sake ! i didnt noe i had so many . was clearing one whole pile of them . hahs ! but some were my fav ones so i kept. found some glow in the dark alphabets and stars i bought last time to design my room's ceiling . so, in order not to waste them , i paste it on my door .

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hehs !
not bad hors ?

i thought i could have a good rest after packing my stuffs . never did i expect my mom ordered me to mop the house ! i was like . WHATTT ?! she knows that my leg was aching like hell . i was basically hoping my way everywhr i go after getting up from the floor and she still wants me to do this .

wahhhhhs !

eventually , i guai guai mop lo . controlling this pain of mine becos she wants me to exercise . what a nice excuse !
blehs !

is actually equals to torturing me than treating me nice .
hohos !

after which , i had a good shower and helped my mom in cooking . hees .
mini-chef geradine !

was feeling so bloated so i went into my room to rest . then my mom came into my room and we started chatting / joking a little . once in a lifetime she was being so mushy to me . i got a shocked of my life okay ? in fact , i was sort of having goosebumps .

LOLS !

mom : thank you geradine . xin ku ni le !
me : ( I kept silent )
mom : please pack your table !!
me : aiya ! wait larhhs . i work for you whole day already lehs .
mom : i also never say now . wahs ! come i give u kiss . muacks ! ( it wasnt real but just sound )
me : O_O ! u dun be mushy to me leh . no use one . hahas !
mom : remember to iron ur shirt also hor . later forget .
me : yea la !!

i felt myself being like a maria todae . doing this and that . though it was tiring but i dun mind doing it once in a while . its pretty nice to do it though . especially when u see the result of your hardwork .

TALA !
my cupboard i packed with my mom . though its not that perfectly neat . but at least it wasnt as messy as before.

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after resting for awhile , i went to iron my shirt , transfering my showmanship notes to my notebook . at the same time i was memorising the 8 cocktails which is gonna be tested on tues . and im done with it !
whees !

GERADINE is feeling such a good girl todae .
=) .

gonna have cooking tml . making cold sauces . i wonder how am i gonna survive walking around with my aching like this . i shall bear with the pain ! hope the pain will be better tomorrow .
I PRAY !
@##$#@@#$$$%$#@ ...

" No Matter How Hard I'm Going Through ,
Nothing Is Gonna Pull Me Down . "