主动

今天，终于主动联络你。我也没后悔做这个决定。
真的。。好想念也很珍惜这时刻。
我们好久也没沟通得那么的开心了。
真的。。想你。
明天见。

发现

昨天，我才发现我也知错了。
一直都再埋怨你的我，一直都再等待你的我，原来有多么的幼稚。
以为，自己在拍偶像剧。哈哈！
其实，说实在的，如果真的在乎一个人，不管是谁对，谁错，都不应该等着对方的联络。如果想要解决，就不要等待。放下所有的恨和伤，立刻去联络他／她。这样也会对彼此好过些。

昨天，真的让我体会了好多。
我终于明白了。
我醒了。

"Never expect, because expectations will lead to disappointments."
But sometimes, it's easier said than done isn't it? HAHA! I've came to agree at someone's point of view. It's true. Why am I working so hard at times? Why can't I make life simpler and enjoy each other's company?

Well, I guess, I've always been trying to change and improve things to be more interesting so that no one will get bored in this relationship. Unfortunately, I've tried too hard to make things work till it has capsized.

Darlings X'mas Dinner & Gift Exchange

Dine in at Alfresco Gusto Ion Orchard to celebrate early Christmas Dinner & Gift Exchange.

First thing first, we had our gift exchange while waiting for our food to be served.

And here comes our dinner... 

PARMA HAM WITH CHEESE PIZZA 

This was rather disappointing as the pizza were oily. The taste of the pizza doesn't blend well. Unlike the one at Antoinette. This pizza was a failure. :(
 **BANNED FROM ORDERING NEXT TIME**

MUSHROOM RISOTTO

This was the best dish we all had! It was well flavored, totally love it!
 **TWO THUMBS UP FOR THIS**

CHICKEN CAESAR SALAD 

Hmmm~ it tasted average for this. If they were to add more on dressing, the flavor would be good. (: 

THIS IS US, WITH OUR FOOD! 

NOMZ..

Overall, I would rate this place as 6/10. 

Though ambience was nice, however the food were average and so was the service as well. It wouldn't be the "one" place I would think of when it comes to suggesting of dine-in venue. 

Headed to ION shopping mall & then down the aisle of Orchard Road to feel the ambience of Christmas. 

I'm in-love with this year Orchard Central's decorations! 

This is then what I call Christmas Decorations! Unlike the street lights which, somehow made me think of Deepavali though. =S Didn't like this year street lights design. 

After bidding goodbye with one another. Darling En & I had an impromptu supper with Nyit & my newly made friend, James (Nyit's Buddy). He, shall be introduced to you in a short while. HAHA! Anw, got home to change as En & I were wearing dress. The guys picked up us with the pick-up & drove to Havelock to have Teochew Porridge. First time there & it tasted pretty good. Unfortunately, I didn't get to record down the address but I believe I'll visit the stall more than once in future. :D 

A LITTLE POLAROID OF US

(My New Supper Kakis ;P) 

Oh! Yes yes! This is my newly-made friend which, I would like to introduce. 他名叫: "啊 JAM!" HAHAHA! Okay larh! On a serious note, his name is James. A very bubbly & nice guy!  One of the reason why I named him "啊 JAM!" is because I do remember the days when those uncles can't pronounce the "S" behind every word. Therefore, when they call for someone's Christian name, they will sound it like this, : ""啊 JAM! 啊 !" Hehehehe! **Peace****Peace****No Offence** ^^Y 

THAT'S ME & DARLING BEHIND THE PICK-UP ENJOYING THE BREEZE~ 

Alright! 

Time to tuck myself to bed! 

Goodnight ♥

I'll move.

Just when I had the most memorable yet perfect dream with you. Just when I thought everything was so real. But in reality, it turned out to be the opposite way.
I felt the heartbreak. I felt the pain.
即使时一点一滴的希望，我一直都在等。
I couldn't believe you just gave up just like this. You never tried.
I guessed you've move since you've removed the status.

I get the hint... I get it.
I'll move.

Acidity Reflux

Was supposed to start my new part-time job today. Unfortunately, my weak body has gotten worse. From fever to stomach burning to breathing difficulty. Had no choice but to visit the the doctor as I've been waking up almost every 2 hours.

That's my medication for acidity reflux. Doc said that it was a rehab due to my previous operation I had when I was a baby. Therefore, it will happen for no reason at times. =(

** Food to avoid: Milk, spicy and oily food.

Gosh! I can't live food without chilli. T.T !
But I'll try.

生病了 :(

生病了，不舒服了。
身体好虚弱哦。也许热过头了。哈哈！
要多多喝水了！

咳，没想到，生病时，想的最多，还是你。
何时才能忘了你？

`` 回来了！－

I'm back from 4D3N family road trip to Malaysia.
"EVENTFUL TRIP!" I should say. :)

路程回来时，发现到，今天是十六日。
难怪，觉得好低弱。
因为，脑海里都是你。
看来，我还是无法王前走。
因为，思念的，都是回忆。

一到家，马上上网络。
看看你的 Page, 读了歌词。。
看来。。你已经放弃了，不会再回头。
或者，你以为，朋友都在责怪你或伤了你的自尊心，所以你不想再回头。
你的离别真的让我有好多的问号。为何，你不要解释清楚呢？

虽然我已离去，但因为太爱你，即使你不会来临，我还是会一直抱着一点一滴的希望。

I wish I wasn't back to face through these memories again.

New Layout

I decided to do a brand new transformation to my blog as I can't figure how to add background behind my page to enhance the beauty of it. HAHA! In the end, I decide to make it simple, just like this. On the top right, there are things which you are able to find out more about. Which includes, my wishlist. *hint hint*. Just click on it & you will be able to see one whole pile of list.

Anw, Christmas is coming! So, to ease your headache of what to get for me, I've piles of things indicated on my list. HEHEHEHE! :P

By the way, a little update. Exams are over for me! 1 month of school holidays starts now before my hell begins again. Bad news received, I've to extend 3 more months of my education journey due to a module not offered in next trimester. Oh well~ :( No choice for that, it's the school management. As long as I'm able to get my degree and able to graduate by October 2013, I'm contented. (:

A good news to share!
I've finally bought my new baby! The lense which I've been eyeing for LOOOOONG!

NIKON PRIME LENSE 35MM 1.8F 

WOOHOOO! :D 

Christmas + Birthday Gift to myself ♥

Before I end this post, just wanna dedicate this to my lovely classmates who has been with me from Trimester 1 to 4. To those who graduate earlier than me: 

"Thank you girls for making my university journey worthwhile. It's been filled with wonderful memories! We go crazy, loud laughters, fan-girling around, slogging hard for projects together, indulging countless of redbull to keep us awake for the night, the insufficient of sleep etc. Well, those were the days & I'm really glad I've went through with you girls. Now that you girls have completed, I would like to congratulate you all & wish you all the best in your future endeavors. Though we have parted our ways but that doesn't mean we'll stop contacting! :P LOVE YOU GIRLS! Once again, Thank you for everything!" 

"As I'm typing this, the date is 12.12.12. 

If we were still together & if I were to text you about this special date. 

I guess you wouldn't even bother because to you, it will just be a date only. "

`` 至少走得比你早 －

至少走得比你早 

歌手：陆毅

你没有想过我会说分手
也许太习惯我在你左右
虽然离开你有很多理由
可看见你这样惊讶也足够

我想得比你多陪你一起更寂寞
我性格比你强怎样做你的绵羊
我年纪比你小不信快乐找不到
抬起头开了口

最后我比你骄傲从此不坐你的牢想不到你的好
记得和你的争吵想到老可到老可是和你做不到
如果你爱得比我少至少我走得比你早

你没有想过我会说分手
除非以为我甚么都忍受
就算你这时候努力挽留
不过是你不能接受我先走

我想得比你多陪你一起更寂寞
我性格比你强怎样做你的绵羊
我年纪比你小不信快乐找不到
抬起头开了口

最后我比你骄傲从此不坐你的牢想不到你的好
记得和你的争吵想到老可到老可是和你做不到
如果你爱得比我少幸好我走得比你早

轰轰烈烈地开口轰轰烈烈地开口

#repeat 

``难受－

我不知该如何是好。
Memories, do hurt. They do.

Headed to Sentosa to catch Song of the Sea with my grandma, mom & friends.
Walked through the path we used to stroll along. Memories flashed & they do hurt so badly.

以为，过了考试，心情会好一些。
But never do I expect, it seemed to be worse than I thought.
带着眼泪回家，因为，实在太难受。

`` 放弃 -

也许，我不该期待着希望。
因为，毕竟，是我先选址离开。
但不知为何我还在等待。
也许，你真的也已放弃。

我不想再猜，也不想再等待，更不想再折磨自己。
因为，我还是不懂你心里在想着什么。
你的不告而别，让我觉得很累。
我真的猜不透。
是时候该放弃了。。。
但这句话，说的容易，做的难。
因为心理，还是带着希望。

我到底，该怎么办？

`` 第二十八天 -

今天，第二十八天。

也等于，已经过了一个月的时期，没有你的存在的生活。

如果我能熬过一个月，就能够再熬过另一个月。

我，还是放不下。

难。

你，过得，怎么样？学习，工作，应付得了吗？ 

"I hate the way you let me go just like that, 

Without any explainations nor any clarifications.

It was the hardest decision to say goodbye, but yet you think I'm happier without you. 

And then you disappear just like that. 

Life without you, has never been easy.

Moreover, its harder when we had plans for the future. 

How am I to forgo all this? Is this how you handle things all the time? I don't think you do that for work, do you?"

`` AMEIZING World Tour Live Encore 2013 -

SAYS WHAT?!! :

Amei is returning back to Singapore in 2013 to hold her ENCORE "ameizing" live tour concert just like what Jams Hsiao did! WOOOTS! EXCITED MUCH! ♥_______♥!

Who's with me? (^^Y)
Heh! I missed it last year. Therefore, I'm not going to miss it this time round!
26 Jan 2013, 绝不能错过！

Ticket purchase will be open on 12 December 2012.
First 2,000 tickets sold will be entitled for 10% discount (Early birds)

So...
AMEI fans, WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR? :D:D:D:D

`` 第八次 -

今天，第八次梦见你。
While I was on my way home, I saw a guy on a train who resembles you. Same attire, with white top and black pants, listening to his Ipod, playing with his Ipad. For a moment, I thought it was you. Unfortunately, it wasn't.

Remind to self: I have to move on.

"I see friends able to cope with love & working hard for the future. 

But why can't we?" 

`` 女人的心 -

Today, the 7th time dreaming of you. 
Waking up with a heavy heart & I do not know how to stop this because it's driving me insane. 

Was browsing through FB and I came across this. 
Well, If only you knew what's inside a woman's heart.... 

你可知道
當女人被男人脫去自己的衣服
一絲不掛的在他面前
是需要多少的愛

你可知道
女人為什麼會背朝你睡
因為她不喜歡看你的背影
如果你以後抱著她睡
她會安心一整個晚上

你可知道
女人把每一次的愛情
當作是初戀
也是這輩子最後一個來愛

你可知道
女人那麼愛吃醋不是因為不相信你
而是你在她心中太美好
她不希望這種美好倒映在別的女人眼中

你可知道
深愛你的女人在沖你發火以後
自己卻轉身不斷哭泣

你可知道
當女人頂著哭花的臉
走在街上
不管是不是有人在看她時
她的心已經快要死了

你可知道
她只會對她愛的男人嘮叨
也只會對她在乎的人耍性子

你可知道
她的任性 她的壞脾氣
其實都只是在對你撒嬌
希望你更重視她

你可知道
假若她不愛你
她根本不會對你發火
不會希望你去哄她
更不會為你掉眼淚
因為她不愛的人沒那本事

你可知道
當你離開她
留下她獨自一人
她有多大的期待和恐懼
而這一切都只是因為她愛你
而這一切都因為你還不夠懂她
女人知道太多不該知道的事情
男人不知道太多該知道的事情

於是你們爭吵
你認為她脾氣不好
她認為你不夠遷就她..
於是你們冷戰
你以為她沒有完全接受你
她以為你不在乎她..

請給她一個擁抱一個吻
用你的擁抱你的吻
去化解她心裡的悲傷和眼角的淚水
因為她只是害怕你的冷漠、轉身和安靜

兩個深愛的人在一起
就要互相包容、互相理解
就要互相體諒、互相信任
否則當你們真正失去時將會遺憾終生
否則美好的未來也就在你們自己手中泯滅了

希望每一個男人
都能夠好好珍惜陪伴在你身邊的女人
她們為你付出過、不求回報
卻希望你們能夠讀懂
能夠牽著她們的手堅定地走下去
不要讓愛你的女人流淚
不要讓她傷心
更不要讓她絕望和死心！

因為
女人一旦真愛了
失去她愛著的人
就意味著失去了整個世界..

Looking at my friends, announcing their engagement, getting married and ended up being happily ever after, it warms my heart. But at the same time, I can only watch and envy them. And I can only envy their sweet relationship but not mine. #heartbreaking

`` Happy Birthday 2nd Aunt -

02 December, never will I forget this date.
Happy Birthday 2nd Aunt!
It's been about 8 years since you been gone. I wonder how have you been up in heaven. Sometimes, I really wish you could let me dream of you to tell me how've you been doing up there. I miss you, truly, deeply, madly.

I love you.

With love,
Your niece (Geradine)

"Days been hard for me recently & I've been feeling way too exhausted. 

Aunt, I pray for your strength and guidance to keep me going."

`` 第二十一天： 苦。-

今天是第二十一天没有你的存在。
再次的，第五次梦见你。
再次的，拿起手机，希望发简讯的人，是你。

心理：苦
想你。

Inspiring post which I've came across: 

Every little thing

Every little thing you do makes a difference. 

Each action, each word you speak, each thought you think will in some way change things for you and your world.

As you move through life, you are constantly leaving consequences in your wake.

 The nature of those consequences is what makes up the quality of your life.

Even the smallest things make a difference. 

And those small things can quickly add up to a big influence.

Your attitude and your outlook on life truly matter. 

They have a powerful influence over what kind of difference you are making, in the big decisions and the small ones too.

See the world as a beautiful place, filled with positive possibilities. 

And your actions, your thoughts, your consequences will take on the color of that positive perspective.

Everything, every moment, every person, every stirring in your heart matters. Let yourself love and value life, and be overjoyed at the positive difference that each of your moments can make.

— Ralph Marston

Read more: http://greatday.com/motivate/090926.html#ixzz2DQVeyWyj

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Every little thing creates an impact in life. Even the smallest thing, which most of us may not have realized do plays a part. As a result, it accumulated and ended becoming big. And that's when you start losing things around you. #nevertakethingsforgranted

`` Polaroid Memories -

Was trying to pack my polaroid films and packed them into the album.
While browsing, came across photos of me & you. And all I can feel was heartbreak.

THIS WAS OUR FIRST POLAROID TOGETHER & IT WAS DURING V.DAY

Do you still remember? 5 years ago? When we first dated, we collected each other passport photo to place it in our wallet?

OUR FIRST VISIT TO HORT PARK

I still remembered after taking polaroid with Jaslin & Nicholas at HortPark. You complained to me immediately asking, "Why didn't you take photo with me?" Heh! That puts a smile on my face actually. How could I possibly miss you out? 

OUR SHORT VACATION TO BATAM 

My first overseas treat for you to celebrate your ORD and our belated anniversary. Though it was only a night spent in Batam, but I had a great time with you. A fun, romantic and relaxing trip. To me, anywhere is fine, as long as I'm with you.

TAKEN AT CHRIST METHODIST CHURCH DINNER EVENT, INVITED BY MERV

Kind us, paid $5 for a polaroid film, donated to charity. (: 

WE SPENT & CELEBRATED OUR FIRST MID-AUTUM FESTIVAL TOGETHER

 

Throughout our 5 years relationship, for the first time, we celebrated mid-autumn festival on the actual day. Thank you for celebrating with me together with my girlfriends, including Merv, Aikho and Jas.  

Unfortunately, those photos shown above were all memories for now. I can no longer carry on. The promises you made, the things you told me were words that I can no longer foresee. You said, you are working hard to earn a living for us, for our future. But do you know what I'm afraid of? Someone who promised to take care of me well in future, providing a comfortable place and happiness for us, yet unable to fulfill the promises he made to me after we made our vows and live together. Question to me is, "What happens if I've been waiting all these while, yet it did not happen? Ain't I waiting in vain? "

All these while, I've been looking after on my own, which you've groomed me to be very independent ; Taking care of myself when I'm ill without you, catering to my own needs without you, even if I need something urgently, you only care for your own needs, regardless how much effort I've put in to planning things for you and us, it doesn't work out. You claimed that you are really busy now, which caused you to have troubles in managing your work, studies, me & your family. As a result, you took my feelings for granted and expected me to understand you all the time. Well, if you think deeper, now that you are busy, in future, when you've graduated and get into real working life, won't you be even busier? And if I'm unable to feel the attention from you now, I won't be able to feel secure and happy for the future. I need someone who is able to provide me the same as I am doing for you too. You've your expectations of a wife, don't I have the right of having mine too? 

I don't deny that money is an important factor for the future. But then again, what's the point of earning so hard, yet unable to provide each other attention? In that case, then I think it's better for you to be alone.

It hurts deeply for a 5 years relationship that didn't work out. However, I rather (us) to be hurt now than to regret the future. 

Finally, I took the courage to remove the photo of ours and replaced a photo of myself with my bestfriend. I'll slowly learn to move on and live for myself.