` it just flOws .

again ,
it happened again ~
not the same dream but i just had my nightmare again .
can you imagine how terrible i felt ?
i cant move for 3 times ?
i cant scream nor do anything .
i was stuck on bed !

when i cld ,
i burst into tears immediately .
i felt so afraid .. i felt so lonely .
i dunno who to confide to but myself .
though i was wishing someone wld be there by myside .
so , all i cld do was to sms to a person and let it out to make me feel better a little .

its late at nite, i dun wanna disturb anyone's slp . for the whole nite , i only had 45 mins of slp . that's all. i didnt catch a wink at all after that . all i did was covering myself with blanket . crouching tightly and cry . i know you guys may think its just a dream . it will never be true .
yes i know !
it will definately never be true . but its the feeling . the feeling is just simply terrible ! i guess you guys wld never understand how much am i going through .

tears been flowing down repeatedly .
i cried everywhr i go .
on my way to sch ..
in class ..
on my way home ..
at home ..

can you just erase the situation out from my mind ?

i have just recovered not long ago from my sickness .
and now i occured this nightmare .
i really cant ..
cant take it ANYMORE !
pls ..
stop torturing me .
im tired ..
im really exhausted .

when i reached home , i didnt even have the appetite to eat . all i felt was puking .
why are there always so many things occuring to me every now and then ?

rawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwhhhhs !

left one more paper to go .
that is housekeeping and then , mayb i cld have a break for myself barhs .

front office was alright for me todae .
((:

" i composed a tune from the bottom of my heart ..
to express my inside- out . "

` STRESS .

been feeling very very stress up recently for the past few days due to exams . mugging hard for it but yet lacking of confidence in myself . i know for sure that im gonna flunk my econs and tourism . im afraid that i may have to re-take my exams once again .

SIGH ~

papers are much tougher than progress test.
whatever it is ,
i told myself just like what i have told my frens ..

" you have did your best !
it's over . there isnt a point bragging abt it becos u just cant turn back time .
just accept it and move on . "

am i right to say that ?

anyways , i had my econs paper todae .
yeah yeah ~
answers were mainly rubbish . many gave up of econs becos it only weighs a weightage of (1) . and they left pretty early . hahas !

had lunch with my sisters at MOS . its really lovely being with them . yups ! we shared stories with one another . there are fun , joy , laughters and anger within us .

no matter what happens ,
sisters ,
we are sticking with each other for LIFE hors ?

((:

we had so much fun together till we didnt even notice the time .
bid gdbye at 2pm and took 61 home . 1 hr journey .
yawwwwnnns ~
61 bus ride is always so long .

guess what did i do the moment i reach home ? wahahahas ~
geradine turned to become so hardworking after i took my bath .
i chiong for my f/o .
i only had about 2 hrs of rest overall .

hees ~
surprised hors ?

yeahs ~
i just wanna score well for my f/O tml and housekeeping on sat becos it stands a weightage of (3) . its really impt and i had interests in those subj too . so, its pretty alright for me la .

hopefully , i wld not forget what i have studied .
STRESS !
STRESS !

JIA YOU JIA YOU !
2 more papers to go and im FREE !

xD .

" my mind is in a whirl .
would you clear it for me ? "

` . wrOng prescriptions ?

vomitted twice in the middle of the nite and this morning as well .
i was feeling damn weak . in the end , mom told me to see dr ting , my specialist family doc . waiting hrs are always very long and ex but in order to get myself..
to get cured fast , just go barhs . its been 2 wks and i have not been getting any better .

waited from 930am till 1 pm . long hars ?
went in ...
and he asked me whats wrong with me .
so, i told him ....
then my mom showed him my medication i took for the past few days which my family doc gave me .

guess what he said ?
him : what are these medication for ? they are wrong . antibiotics made u feel worse becos
they lowered down ur white blood cells , causing you to feel weak and cold .
and what for did they give you urine test ? it doesnt have to do with your sickness at
all ?!

my expression was ....
HUHS ?!!!

he continued :
haiyoos. when this girl fell ill , its always the jia lat one . but dun worry , i'll give you a jab & blood pressure test though its gonna hurts a little . just relax okay ? you'll be fine in the afternoon .

okays . they were wrong . no wonder i have not been getting well for so long .
thank god i visited him larhhs !

luckily i went there in time becos he said i was suffering from viral infection from m'sia . this may lead close to malaria . plus , i am still having fever inside my body . so , he gave me a jab to force my fever & virus out from my body . if i were to visit later , my condition wld be much worser than now . i may be suffering from high fever .

this is definately a NO-play play situation !

then my white blood cells were very very low . for normal people , white blood cells contains 12 thousands plus . while mine is only 5000 plus .

yeps ! so no more of taking "those" medication anymore . just take his and i will be well again . if condition doesnt get any better , have to see him again and he will do further investigation .

oh god !
what makes me boil was doc actually gave me wrong prescription .
LOLs .

i have learnt a lesson ..
i will never visit that doc again and go to this instead , despite the long waiting hours .

@#%$#@@@#% !!

" exams are approaching .
pls get me well soon . "

` . DEAD - TIRED

its 1:05am now and im still awake though i m dying to slp . oh wells , i do not have a choice as i have to print out my hsekeeping proj . came to realise that my desktop does not have the printer's programme becos bro just transfered his printer to my room so that he cld use his new printer .

hehs ~

rawwwrhhs !
im feeling bloody damn sleepy now larhhs .
headaches !
headaches !
and more headaches !

it has been more than 12 days and im still sick . sigh ~ went back to visit the doc on tues to do bloodtest and urine test . i had infection . thats why it is causing the coldness from my body . i wore 4 jackets in class todae again. LOLs.

erms. blood test was alright . normal !
((:

days are nearer to exam ..
things are getting more ..
work loads are increasingly ..
i just wish this cld end really soon ..
becos im on the verge to breaking down ..
my engine is turning off soon ..
without sufficient rest ,
im unable to recover soon .

)):

" things would no longer ..
be the same as before anymore . "

` . shiverss * ~

todae its the 10th day !
and im still falling ill .

)):

thought i was recovering but never thought i was wrong . was shivering very badly during front office lesson . thanks for lending me your jacket again . hees ~
lesson ends at 4 to 5 plus , so sweet of my sisters to accompany me to take cab .

xD

can u imagine ?
they were all perspiring like hell ?
and me ?
wearing a jacket , zipped up so tightly ?

oh god !
im so cold-blooded .

surpposed to visit the doctor at 7pm to take my blood test and visit the doc again to see whats wrong with me . in the end , had to postponed it to the next day as i need to take in the morning . so looks like i have to skip eng lesson for tml .

rarwwwwwhhhhs ~

so many things been happening around me .
i cld felt the stress and cOnfusion coming .
sigh ~
just take one step at a time .
i guess that would be the best choice among all .

" music sings to my ears .
only you cld relieved my stress . "

` farewell darhling gennie .

its really sudden of me to heard that one of my bestfriend is leaving to aust . both feelings occured to me .

i felt happy for her becos she is going to further her studies and create a better future for herself .
i felt unhappy to the fact that she wld no longer be there by myside till 1/2 yr or so .

its really unbearable .
oh well .
lets just give her our blessings !
hees .

for 4 days i ve been feeling sick . went to visit the doc ytd as i was feeling very terrible . fever for 4 days is no joke at all and from what he told me , i was actually suffering from virus . mayb from m'sia .

guess i played too much at gen's hse till todae im lying down on the bed for the whole day . sleeping like a pig .
LOLs .

travis made me fell while me and sim were bringing him out for a walk .
BAD DOGGIE !
just some minor cuts though .
doesnt matter .
heees ~

((:

though it HURTS a little .
)):
but i still love HIM !

pictures tells it all of what i did ytd at gen's hse ..

our farewell gift for gen :




messsages behind each photos :


we gave her a surprise :


she looks at it :


she's touched :




the zi-lians :




i LOVE the tofu cheese ! so delicious . mmm ~ yummy ..!! :


gennie's luggage :


trying to act tai tai :


sim sim bathing ME :




showering :


O_O !! my weight ?? :


trying to act egyptian ? :


at the rooft top :




my godsOn , TRAVIS :


the beautiful sunset . i LOVE watcching it :




sim and travis :


i wont be seeing him for long :


i'll definately miss him for sure :


we got the same slippers ! but are u able to spot the difference ? :


ohs ~ the dog pee ! dun peek ! :


my gals playing with the shadows ?:


OBSCENE ! pls do not look if u are under 18 . LOLS :


my girls :




































this pic looked so cool . I LIKE ! :


trying to act formal :




informal shots :




we looked like some kind of jailbirds . :


we LOVE her :


stacking up :


so sweet of gen to bought us gift from korea :


i got crabbie and sim got star :)) :


candid shot :


okays ! im short ! i know .... :


" missing you more as days goes by ..
keep the memories with you as you fly ..
keep me in contact when you're there ..
remember me like i always do . "