" Please stop torturing me anymore . Please stop giving me one after another . I'm at the midst of dying . Stop giving me all these pain to murder me . If you were to give me just give me everything at one shot and not one day after another . It kills me . It really does . "
I'm so exhausted to the fact that I'm falling ill soon . Saturday was actually the worse day of all . Slept at 6am because my family were at my aunty's hse playing MJ . The moment I got home , I was too sleepy to be bothered by anything . I knew my mom dimmed the lights as she felt that the white lights were too hot . And I thought I could take it . It's one step up to overcoming my phobia .
Unfortunately , pain suddenly came back to me . Everything came back . I was feeling so terrible . So afraid . There's nothing I could do but just stayed still . Headache started occuring . Then , it came to my thinking ..
Do i really have to carry on this phobia of mine for long ?
But Why ?
Why does it come when I was just about to overcome it ?
Can't I just climb one step up ahead to make myself feel better ?
Do you know it made me felt to the extent that I do not even dare to close my eyes to slp anymore ?
But Why ?
Why does it come when I was just about to overcome it ?
Can't I just climb one step up ahead to make myself feel better ?
Do you know it made me felt to the extent that I do not even dare to close my eyes to slp anymore ?
rahhhhs ! it really kills the hell out of me !
If you rarely see me smile or rather me looking dead , please forgive me . I'm really trying my very best to smile . It's just that I'm been feeling too tired and weak because this is the first time I have been occuring so many nightmares at one go . Please give me sometime to recover . I promise I will be fine . (:
Anw , talking about today . It was really a bad morning because firstly , i had nitemare . Secondly , I lost my school scraf . Thirdly , my mom sort of threw temper at me and lastly , my phobia occured because one of the training room path was dark . Practical training was quite interesting at hyatt today . We played some games and it was funny .
Everything ended at 12 plus . Then some of us went to Ramen Ten to have lunch . Doris and Chris A were such a joker larhs . Its entertaining to watch them argue sometimes . Nic & Dear also . It has somehow took my mind off . After which , all of us went seperate ways . Left me and Dear . Walked around Town to view some cars . Didn't manage to catch Lamborghini but we caught 5 Ferraries instead . =( . hahs ! Dear kept on msging Nic to report to him ..
LOL .
anw , both of us took our mind off and we have somehow felt so much lot better . (:
good sign isn't it ?
Hopefully , both of us are able to recover from our phobia soon .
Dear Dear , I hope that after today , we are gonna recover soon . Thanks for cheering me up and remain strong . Likewise to you too okay ? It worries the hell load of me last night when you had your phobia attack . I'm not afraid when it occures but I was more on being worried than being afraid because seeing you like this really aches me alot . And I have also realised the moment when both of us are having our phobias occuring at the same time , we tend to hurt each other even further . Let's just stop this okay ? I really don't want it to happen anymore .
Please continue to remain strong. I do know that at times , somethings will stress and tire us out . But no matter what happens , we'll always have each other to pick each other up yeah ? And dear , never give up in whatever you do okay okay ? I'll always be surpporting you all the way ! (:
I hope to see the cheerful side of you soon . Not the fake one but the real side of you because seeing you smile really brightens up my day . You are my EVERYTHING dear !
mwahhhhs - !
LOVE LOVE YOU .
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