` Bleeds

Time passed .

No improvement .

I misses you badly but I cant forgive .

I feel terrible , I really do .

It hurts , It bleeds .

When will this stop ?

So many things have been happening to me .

I do not know how long am I able to hold further .

" Give me a portion ,

Where I could forget all my painful memories . "

`` PIERCED

Everytime those words appeared in my mind ,

Tears just fall .

I can never forgive nor forget what have happened .

It pierced me through .

" Doubt in love ,

Pierced in heart . "

`` New Outlet , New Environment .

Ytd was the start of the new outlet at Rosette , SHA VILLA . I'm Sorry but I have to say this ..

I MISS CHARCOAL HELL LOTS ! xD

LOL .

Being in this new restaurant is totally a new environment . The things here are pretty different from the ones at Charcoal . Awwwws ~ It takes time to change . Oh well . Did pretty few stupid mistakes ytd and I was the Captain somemore . Blur me . Many ppl did minor mistakes too ! But it's okay ! It was the first day & I will improve !

And today is my OFF day . Not a pretty good start actually . I had my nightmare & basically I was feeling really weak . I know my dear needs me so I went over to fetch him & sent him to work . Wanted to go out initially but I had to cancel . I can't go on anymore . I really need to rest .

Not to worry , Geradine will still be strong no matter how much hatred her life would be . (:

" A Simple yet Complicated Life ."

`` Mentally Tortured .

170508 , Saturday

1 Yr Old Celebration For Ashton Baby Boy

Happy 1st Year to Ashton Baby Boy !

He's my first nephew & I adores him .

"May he be a goodboy when he grows up & listens to mummy . (: "

His new toys

He sure LOVES it !

Handsome Boy

Grandpa & Grandson

Surpirsingly , this boy loves to listen to hokkien songs ! =S

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I thank all my close ones who really care & concern for me .
But I really need you guys understand that ,
It's not that I don't treasure you guys .
It's not that I don't appreciate your help .
I really do .
I really felt so lucky & bless to have you guys around me .

Its the mentally tortured that its happening to me .
You guys have never gone through that much with the same problem I have.
So you guys will never understand .
You asked me to be strong .
Yes , I did .
I was being strong all these while .
I have always look on the positive side .
However , there's always a limit .

If things just keep coming to me almost everynight.
Tell me how am I going to lead my life ?
I'm really feeling very terrible .
Like what darling ping told me , mayb she shld just give me morphine & just numb it .
I rather to be numb than to feel all these pains .
Anw , don't get offended what she said . She's just joking . (:

So what if I have good family , good friends & good people around me ?
You guys may feel envy .
But you can never imagine the mental torture that Im having .
No one can save me but to only give me moral support .
The only one that could really save me is " God " .
That's all I can say .

I have done my best .

I did this , to keep my mind off

" I do not know what my life will be for now .
I will keep hanging on till the day I die . "

`` SAVE ME .

I'M FEELING VERY TERRIBLE NOW !

SAVE ME PLEASE !

I have not catch a wink for 48 hours .

2 days ago , I received an email .
From then on , all my pains , my hurts , flashes back to me once more .

Nightmare has returned .
My bad past has returned .

My health is deteriorating .

I'm exhausted.

Why do you have to do this to me ?!

what have I done to received all these pain ?

It took me so long to recover , looking positively & becoming a happy person .

Now, is back to square one again .

Retribution in my previous life , maybe ?

My life is beginning to filled with hatred .

Seeing me smiling & joking away does not mean I'm fine .

This is to show I do not wan to make people's life difficult around me .

Now that I have gone through so much .

Hiding , is nothing to me anymore .
I'm still strong & I can handle it my own .

I know & I do understand that my close one would want to be there for me .

Please do not be angry but understand the decisions I made .

I do not want to create a burden .

I just want all of you to be happy .

Because seeing you smile , would create a difference to me .

That's all I ask for .

" My life is no longer simple as it is .

It became a complicated one where I , myself do not understand it either. "

`` MOTHER'S DAY

Its the 11th MAY .
Now , here I am , wishing all the beautiful & wonderful mothers around ....

" HAPPY MOTHER'S DAY ! "

Sad to say , my mom is in Malaysia right now . So , didn't manage to celebrate with her on the actual day . But the kids did an advance Mother's day celebration on tues ! (:
Went to have dinner at Chinatown with my sis-in-law parents as well & we celebrated together . The kids did the treat . xD .

" Although you are not in Singapore right now .
But always remember ,
You are the mom the I love & treasure always .
It's a blessing to have a wonderful mom like you .
The one who has always been supporting me and picking me up when I was down .
You never let me fall .
I LOVE YOU MOM ! "

Gonna rest at home for today . Been really exhausted recently as I had been working full shift . Headaches & Giddiness are occuring to me . I guess I had over-exert myself . Hopefully I would not fall sick till my exams are over as I do not want to do any more MAKE-UPS ! =S .

" Give me the strength .
Bless me with a healthy life . "

`` Total SHAGGED !

040508 , SUNDAY

Family Outing

It's so nice to organise a family outing once again . I really love this feeling as it brings a closer bond with one another . Went to Marina Bay Golf Course . All along I have never tried golf because I simply found it too boring . Its just a stick & a ball . But when you really were to experience it , my thinking wasnt the same as before anymore . It was really fun & I enjoyed it ! Now I finally understood why do most people love to play golf. Hahs .

WEE FAMILY

VS

KER FAMILY

Left at around 5 plus and we went to East Coast for cycling . Just less than an hour , we returned the bike as the adults were tired . LOLS ! Then we went to my uncle house to see baby Aston . As usual , the adults played MJ again ! @#@$@%@#@# ..................

I LOVE TO HAVE FAMILY DAY ! (:

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050508 , Monday

SURPRISE FOR DARLING , OUTING WITH DEAR

On this day , I heard that Darling had broke up with her bf . I understand the situation . I am deeply disappointed with him who doesnt know how to treasure such a great girl in front of him . haish !

" Whatever your decision will be , I'll always respect it . As a darling of yours , I know you would made the best decision out of it ! "

It really hurts me & ping seeing her so upset and hurt . So , in order to cheer her up , what we did was to spring her a surprise . Woke up at 8am to prepare . Ping came over at 9am plus . I was doing the card then from there , she took over while I cooked the food . Prepared ham & cheese omelette , baked beans , hot dogs and tomatoes . I just took out what I had enough to prepare from my kitchen cupboard . hahs !

To tell you honestly , its really my first time cooking for darling & dear . Prepared 2 shares . I have never prepared for anyone before . Not even my family . So this shows how precious you are to me . I really hope it tasted nice .

I was so happy that they love it . At least my cooking skills wasnt that bad afterall . =P .

Both of us left the house at 11am and walked over to her place . Waiting for her to leave the house . We placed the food & card outside her door step . Then me & ping went upstairs to hide and saw her reaction. (:

Cutie took a video of her coming out . She was really stunned & touched .

" Always remember , you are never alone because you have us ! "

I'm really glad that , our surprised turn out to be really successful .

After surprising her , both of them went to sch while I went to harbourfront to meet dear . Waited for him for 1/2 hour . He was late . =S . Then i surprised him by passing him the food . Hees . Reason for me preparing the food for him was because , the both of us were surpposed to be having breakfast together . And I disappointed dear as I told him I can no longer join him for breakfast because I wanna accompany darling . Therefore , in order to replace the disappointment , I decided to do this for him . I was so glad that he loved it too . Unfortunately , he was having sore throat . It was very difficult for him to swallow it . In the end , he could not finish it . But it's alright . (:

After that we took the train in Sentosa . First stop was to the luge ride ! It was fun for the first 2 rounds . Then you would slowly get bored of it . hahas !

I know he doesn't like this photo because of the wind but I just wanna keep it as memory .

" dear , i hope you don't mind . =S "

View from the SKY RIDE

I LOVE HIM THE MOST

SKYRIDE !

Enough of the fun ! Both of us decided to have a rest . So we sat down while waiting for the tram to come and bring us to underwater world. One of my favourite place ! However , I was disappointed this time round as it was not as interesting as the last time i visited anymore . Only one fish that caught my eye was the angel fish . It was so adorable ! Hopefully , my next visit my friends would join in too . So that we could take more photos ! hee .

We exchanged slippers !

Look at the HUGE DIFFERENCE .

This is the fish I have been talking about .
ANGEL FISH

Other FISHES

JELLY FISHES

Awws ..

Isn't the drawing cute ?

Stingray

CRABBY

COCONUT CRAB

" MR GUI GUI " - turtle

I really love aquatic things . Don't you think they are very relax and beautiful ? I simply love watching them & I never get tired of it . Next, we went to dolphin lagoon . It's a pity that I didnt manage to take any photos of it because people kept on blocking me . That's the most idiotic & annoying part of all !

Show lasted about 1/2 hr to 45 mins . Then the both of us went to eat as we were hungry and we headed back to the train station . Dear isn't feeling very well already . So i urged him to home . It's okay if we did not catch the sunset together though we planned to . His health is more important than anything . Besides , we still have other days to come again . (:

BYE BYE SENTOSA !

I sent him home .

" You chose to spend time with me even though you are sick .
I appreciated it alot .

Though its a short while ,
But every moment , every sec ,
As long as you are with me ,
Is a precious memory to me .

For the first time I cooked breakfast for you .

For the first time we took the Luge & Sky ride together .

For the first time we went to Sentosa only just the two of us .

And for the first time we went to Underwater World & Dolphin lagoon.
Thank you so much for everything .

I really enjoyed myself .

I know choosing you ,

Is never a wrong choice for me .

I have never regret .

You are my world , My everything .

The one whom I wanna be with Now & Forever .

Recover soon hubby !

- mwahhhs

" I'm loving you always "