*_feELinG dowN_*

i feeling so sad todae.....todae is the release of chinese lang 'o' lvl result..i feel so scared...!! 11am...is my nightmare...i thought i wld score well..when mrs kong said dat..everyone did well for their mt papers, i was kinda happy coz its above the national average...when we individualy took our results from ms lee...my heart sank...totally sankkkk....wad ish happening to mie?? why did i score so badly..?? i got c5...i thought i wld get at least b3.....why is dis sooo..?? i am so disappointed with myself...when i reached to the hardcourt to find my frens..i totally broke down...i broke down...totally...i was controlling myself...but i couldn't do it...i broke down in the end..when every1 asked me abt my marks...i realise dat i am so weak...!! i am such an emotional person...

but in my heart..i told myself dat i did my best...!! wad is over is over..i realli wanna thank my frens for being there for me....without all of `euuu..i juz didn't noe wad to do...thanx for consolling me..dey are so sweet dat...dey gave me a hug..!! hehehe..~!! i `lubb dem all...i told myself.."...stop crying...its pointless...wad is over is over....u have done ur best...at the end of the yr..i gonna do my best...no matter wad..!! i wanna score well...!! u can do it..!! don't let ur friends worry abt `euu..or even every1..." i stopped...i tried to be happy....i was realli restless...till sch ends......i tried to laugh and smile and be happy..pretending dat i'm alright..so dat dey do notx have to worry abt me...i dont wan them to feel sad too...yepx..?? my brother and mum and my eng tuition teacher started smsing me...realli wanna thank god...i am so lucky..to have such sweet ppl around me..caring for me.....!! so i am gonna score well no matter wad..!! i am not gonna disappoint themm...!!

i was alright..till after remedial..when i went home by myself..i took bus home..while i was walkin home..i began to "hu si luan xiang" againx..!! haix....!! reach home...i do not noe why..while i sit down...juz taking a phone..i cant hold properly..!!!! what ishh happening to my hand???? my right hand..why izzt trembling so badly..?? i was so afraid.....!! den my mum called...i couldn't even hold the hse phone properly..!!!!! why is it trembling so badly..i was so afraid...!! i begann to broke down againx..!!

then..my father came back home..and asked me abt the results...i told him sadly...and he said.."nvm larh..!! u did ur best already...at least u are better than those who failed wad.." he noes i am sad.....then..i went to bathe....i closed the door...i cried my heart out silently......haix..!! i am so weak...emotionally weak....such a cry baby...hahs..~!!


i even took a photo of my self looking so saddy..!! my god..!! bo liao of me right..?? hahas..!!

but notx to worry...i will turned stronger one day..!! "buck up gurL!"