2ND Vocal Audition .

Was feeling unwell again for the first lesson of school . Guess it was because of the bus ride which is making me sick . rahhhs !

Anw , I was feeling rather down in school . Not because I was sick but because of some other reasons . All I can say is that , I'm really exhausted bothering about all these stuffs . Not gonna think of much about others but myself . I rather recover first . (:

Went out with mich , blue , dear , colin , nic and chris a to Ikea . They need to buy some equipments for the theme party . Then me and dear went vivo to spend sometime with each other. I should say , I really enjoyed myself .

Reached home at 4 plus . Was busy practising before going for audition at 8pm . Met Iain , Roro , Gab and Zitian . All of us did warm-ups together . While watching some of the contestants singing , it was really nervous . Teacher saw me , it was my turn to see . I was like " DAMN IT ! " . However , I did not regret . Infact I was proud of myself that I did pretty well for my audition this time round . (: Finally , I did not forget my lyrics . I sang smoothly without any hesitating . For now , just have to wait for the results . Hopefully I would get selected . PRAYYS !!

Not to forget , my classmates did well too espescially Roro . It really took her alot of courage to really sing on stage and she did it ! All of us were so proud of her . She sang well too .
WELL DONE SWEETIE ! xDD

awwws ~ It's been 2 wks I last went for vocal lesson . Tml will be back for lesson .
I MISS THEM . (:

" A Day for one ,
Which could really perks me up finally . "

SICK

Woke up at 7am . Got myself prepared to school and off I go . Was feeling very weak the moment I reached school . Met wenting on the way . We went up together . While doing my beverage test , I could hardly concentrate because I felt so much like vomitting and my stomach hurts . I was feeling quite terrible .

I went home after takin the test . Could no longer take it anymore . So, I took a cab home . Gonna rest for now ..

Anw , I have uploaded the photos for aerospace (:

Our passes :




My stand ( EADS ) :




The beautiful sunrise :



Heartshape done by the Black Knights :


My stand's Barcounter :


Meeting Room :


My team members :





Awwws !
I MISS THEM . ):

I did all these too to keep my mind away for a moment ..

" Please be strong ,

It pains to see you like this all the time. "

EXHAUSTION !

Been feeling very exhausted with everything till the fact that I have fallen ill . During last week ( 18th to 24th ) , I was attached to aerospace event . Though it was tiring , somehow pressurized but it was a fun and memorable event . I enjoyed myself . (:
will be uploading the photos when im free .

This morning , just as I was preparing myself to school . I felt so giddy and pain out of the sudden . Then i started vomitting . Fever , Chestpain , Stomachache , Giddy , Breathless .. Everything started to occure within me . Went to see my family doc and he said I was suffering from gastric flu . Loads of acids are in my stomach and i nd to take medication to remove them . Its a virual infection . ):
I was just been passed .

Having 2 days MC . Doc said i need plenty of rest . So tml , after my beverage test .. Im gonna go home after that and rest . I seriously need a break . I didnt get to rest todae even though Im having my mc . rahhhs ~ ! so many things to do .

1) FOODS presentation ( due tml )
2) Beverage test .

alright ! gonna rest for awhile now before i start on my beverage study . im prepared to fail anw .
LOLS !
its so tough . but im not giving up . (:

Everything I think of those words coming from you .
It just hurts me so badly .

Tears just started flowing .

But slowly , its subsiding .
Please do not ever let it happen again .

Promise ..

` 7th Month Anniversary . (:

I have many many things to update today . (:
Let's just start with the photos first .

CNY PERIOD ; reunion dinner - fourth day .



VALENTINE'S DAY

He gave me a surprise by delivering a bouquet of pink roses on the 13 Feb . Inside , there are 12 roses plus a card . I felt so touched . This is the first time I actually receive such a surprise from a guy I love . (:

" My dear ,

My valentine

, My heart is with you till the end of time .

Because all I ever need is you . "

- quoted by Jstuin ( my hubby ) .

Of cos not to forget the gift I prepared for him as well . Slept at 2am plus just to finalise his gift. I put in alot of effort in it . He simply meant too much to me . xD !



He bought me an additional rose on 14 Feb . We had double date with my Sayang . Finally my wish which I always wanted was fulfilled . All thanks to my precious dear . xD . In the past , I never get to celebrate Valentine's Day with my love one at all . I tend to get jealous and envy whenever I see couple walking hand in hand , holding bouquet of roses with their partner . But now , I dont have to feel that way anymore because my precious is with me . (: - mwahhhs .



Thanks for making such a memorable V. Day ! LOVES LOVES .

VOCAL AUDITION [ 150208 ]

Was practising very hard because this audition really meant alot to me . Its a one step up into exposing myself . Being able to perform on stage which I always wanted to ever since I was a child . Met Doreen and Iain at 630 pm at the ground floor . Then we did our warm-ups while waiting for Hong Yue to arrive . She came about 730 pm . Did her warm up as well and we went into the audition room not long after .

In the beginning , I was filled with confidence . Being able to put in emotions and sing well . I was the third person to sing . Unfortunately , during my turn , I screwed up . I kept on forgetting the lyrics whenever the chorus is ending . I felt so disappointed in myself . Why did such things happen to me ? I even thought I was dead . Its a low chance that I would be selected to perform . ):

They encouraged me but I was still feeling screwed up . Oh well , I have did my best . It was my first experience after all in this kind of audition . I learnt my lesson and I'm gonna make improvement in it . xxD . Just gonna work hard in gaining my self-confidence first .

JIA YOU JIA YOU !

TODAY

had food hygiene exam in the morning . 10 am - 1045am . Went home with dear and i rested at home for awhile before leaving the house . Bought kueh lapis for Dear's family . Mom brought me there . hehs !

Then i headed to Dear's place . I was feeling darn nervous at the time till the fact that I had to ask him to fetch me at the MRT station . LOL ! Just imagine you're an outsider and you have never met them before . One shot you see 20 over people in the house . Can you imagine how scary it is ? However , The moment I stepped into his house . The feeling was so different than I thought it might be . I felt so homely , so warmth , so welcomed by them . They were so friendly . It's a very NICE feeling I should say . Then i realised , they were pretty similar to my family side as well . hahs !

Dear's dad invited lion dance troupe to his place for goodluck . Luckily, I was just in time to catch it . (: After which , some of them played MJ while the rest played black jack . Whereas for me , I was down at the basement with the kids and Dear . They were so adorable . But please do not call me AUNTY ! i sounded so old . Just call your Uncle Justin will do . hahs !



I stayed for dinner as well . (:
Left the house at around 10 plus . Dear fetched me home . It's the first time he sent me home personally without anyone around and he brought me to see a Lamborghini yellow murcielago car too . XXD !

HAPPY 7th MONTH ANNIVERSARY DEAR
&
HAPPY 1 YR in passing your driving licence . ( 160207 - 160208 )

So this means , he doesnt need to put on the driving plate anymore . (:
I LOVE HIM LOADS !

Thank you for making this day such a wonderful one .
The one that I could have never ask for more .

` =(

THIS PAIN WILL NEVER BE ERASE ,

TILL THE DAY IT IS BACK TO NORMAL ONCE AGAIN . :(

For this , I can only keep this to myself . The answers are kept within me .
Anw , it had been a stressful , busy and tiring week for me . School starts as per normal . Tests are coming up . More work to be done . Rarrrhhhs ~

Gonna turn in for now . will update my CNY events when im free . (:

Just gonna concentrate mainly on school work for the time being .

What a "wonderful" CNY present I got on the very first day.

This hurt can never go away .
A big scar left behind .

`` GONG XI FA CAI !

HAPPY CNY TO ALL !
GONG XI FA CAI !

hees . honestly speaking , i dont feel the mood of cny larhs . bascially all my new yr clothings are just for the sake of buying . LOLS.

like what my darling felt , i'm just looking forward to reunion and collecting angpaos . going visiting just makes me feel so warmth with my family members . i simply love that . but due to the atmosphere of cny , i just cant really felt it . it's so quiet !

anw , im so happy its a brand new yr for me ! im just gonna throw all my burdens away ! (:

hopefully , this yr would be a smooth one for me . most imptly , to overcome my phobia which i have been doing pretty well fighting it .

well , last night had reunion dinner at warren country club .

bad service ! food was only on average ! i never gonna go there anymore . yikes ! after that , some went home and the rest of us went to party world at clementi . hahas ! as usual , the adults cant simply stop gambling . they could even bring cards to the vip room to play blackjack ! afterwhich , most of them went high after that and they were playing with the instruments given especially jack kor kor . hahs . our entertainer ! all of us went back at 2 am plus . was feeling so SHAGGED !

as for todae , going visitng at my uncle's place . our first stop . woke up at 12pm . mom woked me up greeting me GONG XI FA CAI when i was still sleeping ? and she said i was a lazy worm . i do admit i am ! hahas .

then i got up from bed , wash up , took 2 oranges and gave 1 pair to my mom and another to my dad . in return , i got ANG PAO !! xDDD .

alright , gotta prepare to go for visiting .

once again , HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR TO ALL !

may all of you stay healthy always .

for students , xue ye jin bu !

for adults , tian tian fa da cai !

HUAT AH !

This is the day i have long waiting for ,
And it has finally arrived .
Bless me with smooth journey .
Goodbye to all my burdens .

`` FINAL shots .

OUTING WITH MY GIRLS

resting after a long shopping day :

our shopping bags [ combined ] :

Lunch at Sakae Sushi :

Shopped around Marina , Suntec and last min decision at Bugis because there isn't anything attracting at the first two places .

Went home at around 10pm plus . SHAGGED !

These few days I've been being optimistic . Maybe I should be thankful for have those nightmares because it had made me stronger . Recently , I just can't be bothered with those nightmares that I am having . hahs . Have i been immuned by it ? Basically its mainly psychological larhs . I'll still stay strong no matter what . Overcoming it is another factor . But I'll try my very best . Give me sometime alright ?

Now for another situation that is haunting me . Just let me pen this down okay ? Its not refering to anyone but just myself . (:

This guilt , this pain will never fade away .
Until the day it is back normal once again .
No one knows how much am i feeling behind .
Because I can never show it all .
Either one I would ended up hurting to .

So all I could do was to express all my emotions to myself .
That is why i am typing here .

I know how much pain he is going through .

Seeing him feeling like this does hurt me deeply as well .

If only I can turn back time but I know its too late .

Unintentionally hurt whom I had given to ,
I blamed myself .
Indeed , the fault lies on me .

Pressurized and stress are always there .
As one person's life is in my hand .
You can never know how bad it feels like when you became some sort of murderer .
It has left a deep cut scar behind .

Anytime it happens again ,

You are in hell .

Therefore , I am trying my best to bring it back .
By keeping all my promises once again .

Also , to be there whenever he needs me .

This is the guy whom i can't afford to lose .

Because I love him deeply .

I know this phobia of his takes a long time to be cured .
But , I will never give up no matter how hard it takes .

Sometimes words simply hurts so deeply by him .

But I'll never blame him for saying those .
It's never his fault .
Because , I was the cause from the start .

I just hope he would remain strong .

Because , it's simply too hurting watching him being hurt like this .
Worse still , when he did something to hurt himself where he doesnt even realise .
I don't want to see this anymore .
I really don't want to .

I know it takes time .
I know the period is long .

I know it is pain .

I know it's hurting .
The main issue now is just the waiting period .
And that is the most killing part of all .

Right now , all i could do was to be by his side while waiting .
This is the best I could do .

I'm sorry .
I know apologies cant change the fact .

All i can say is that , I am really trying my best and keeping my promise .

I love him and i really do .
Please do not let our phobias tear us apart .

God , please let him be fine so that he would be able to take care of his own health .
I do not want anything bad to him either .
I can't afford to lose him.

He is part of me .

I do not want this to be the end of everything .