`` Worst Nightmare Ever .

I have never suffered such a terrible nightmare before .
This is my first time experiencing it .
I feel so pain .
So lost .
So confused .
So weak .
Worst still , I can't move .
The more I chant , the more pain i felt .

I really do not have the strength to carry on .
I dreamt my soul got almost taken away .
I dreamt that those things came back to me .
I really do not have the courage to sleep anymore .
Tears just kept flowing ..
I felt so hurt !

I sms-ed to dear but I guess he is sleeping .
Because he , himself is also having a bad day .
It's okay . I can't rely on him much and he needs rest .
Luckily , darling smsed me telling me something at that time .
Thanks darling for comforting me .

Then , finally , once I got the strength to get out from the bed .
I came online , thank god jaslin was online .
At least someone was online .
Thank you ah nek for accompanying me through the night .

Most importantly , thanks to my mom for saving my life .
Luckily she woke me up .
Otherwise my soul would be taken away .
And the " thing " would successfully take my body away .

Monk tried to help me and asked me to read those chanting script .
But I see nothing .
It appears nothing .
It has been erased .

Though its just a dream .
However, it seems so real .

"You can never imagine the amount of pain that I was going through ,

My heart is bleeding . "

`` BIG BLOW

WHY ?!

Why do you have to keep torturing me ?

Do you want me to turn into madness ?

Do you really want to turn me to an unknown person ?

Please do not force me to become someone I don't know.

I just received a letter not long ago.

It's not a good one afterall .

I somehow felt cheated .

Problems after problems .
One after another .

Tell me , how am i surppose to take it ?

Can you teach me how ?

My heart just simply aches so badly .

How i wish I could just run ..

Just continue running ..

So that I am able to free myself for the moment .

But I know I can't .

I have to face it .

However , my energy level is running low .
I am about to fall .
I felt as if I had just been shot and drop dead .

" God ,

please give me the strength ..

I need it .

Desperately need it . "

`` STRESS

DO YOU KNOW HOW MUCH PAIN AM I HAVING RIGHT NOW ?

Recently , I have been living with stress , pain & exhaustion .
No one knows but only to myself .
Exams are coming , I decided not to rely on anyone .

My boy is sick and i just hope he recovers soon .

For a week , I have been having pains .

Though it have subsided but the pain always remain .

Today is exactly a week .

And I have reached to a limit .

Eventually, I broke down .
I told myself not to shed a single tear .
In the end , I did .

However , this time round , after todae, I will no longer shed any more tears.

It wld be the last time I would be tearing for pains .
Never will I tear for it again .

Tml is the start of my exams .
I am worried sick for it .
I wanted to study but I simply cant concentrate .

Basically , the pain is killing me .
Its tiring me out .

Really tiring me out .

So many things just occured to me suddenly.

Tell me , how am i surpposed to take it ?

For a week I have been living with pains .

For a week I have not been sleeping well .
For a week I have been having suffering from nightmares .

For a week I have been worrying with my sch work .

For a week I have missed school .

And recently , I have some family probs too .

etc .. etc ..

PLUS ! I can't eat all my favourite food .
With this kind of food lover like me , how cld i live without food ?

I can only have soft diet .

T_T !

RAHHHHS !

im so STRESS !

" How i wish i was at somewhere relaxing right now .
At least I am able to put my mind off a little .

I feel so suffocated . "

Just let me !@$#@!$#@@#$ and i will be back to myself again .

Do not worry , Geradine is fine .
She is strong . Never will she fall .

She will never allow herself to fall .

JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU JIA YOU !!!

Oh yeahs !

While browsing through my entries , I realised that I have not posted my theme party pics.

So here are they ...

PRE-PREPARATION

ACTUAL DAY PREPARATION

TABLE SETTING

FOOD PREPARATION

( only manage to take the app course )

PHOTO-TAKINGS

CUTE KITTY

Wanted to take more with my friends .

However because of my bad sore eyes , I am unable to . ):

" Please give me the stength to carry on ..
I don't want to fall . "