` Memorable event .

okays ! just wanna make this clear ..
i dun care what other ppl are saying about me . be it whether is " bitch " , " cheap woman " .. or whatever words that are unpleasant describing me . i cant even be bothered with these kind of ppl . hahas ! in fact , i just find them being childish . they just had nothing better to do . well , if they still wanna go on , then go ahead with it . for what should i care ?!!

if i am one of them , i would admit that i am . but the fact is , i don't even think that im one of those . i don't slp with man . i am not unfaithful .
LOLs .
i dont even meet the criteria .

rahhhhhhs ~
whatever it is , there's no use bothering about it .

situations are turning out better . i felt more eased and relax . thanks to everyone's understanding !
((:
for now , im happy for who i am and i'm not asking for more .

anyway , met up with dear at safra mount faber todae . walked there from home .
though weather was hot but its nice walking though . now i truely understand why does my darling love walking home from her work place so much .
hees .

his brother had major bowling competition . so , we went there to give him our support .
whoa ~ !
guess what ? i saw some professional players too .
NICE ~ !!

left the place at 5 plus and we took cab to vivo to meet jia en and JJ . then we took the train down to sentosa and walked along the beach . finally , for the first time .. i have finally fulfilled my wish . thanks to dear for making it fulfilled !

hees . he knows i have been wanting to do this for a long time . rahhhhs ~ i love him so .
yeps ! everything went well and this was the most beautiful sunset that i had seen so far .
one word ,
SPLENDID !

` xD .

i really enjoyed myself .

the PERFECT weather :







darling and JJ :


dear dear drew this for me :



darling threw sand on me [ BAD BAD ! ] :


sweep sweep the sand away .. :


okay . DONE ! :


opps ! candid shot :


darling piggy-back me :


dear dear and me :







muacks ! :


the beautiful sunset :






the lovely couple :



plus us too ! XD :



oh my , look at the clouds . :



happened to saw some mini-fireworks too :




played with candles and sparklers . we did this ! :



awwwws ~
went home at 10 plus as i cant be home too late . seeing the both of them being so loving , we didnt want to interrupt them . so i msged darling to tell her that we made a move first .

wheees ~ !!
after so much that im went through ..
im finally able to smile once again ..

to dear dear :
thanks so much for everything !
you really made this day memorable and i'll never forget this precious moment that we had once spent .
i just wanna tell you that ..
no matter how much we are going through , my love for you will never change . i love you for who you are ..
and no matter how tough the challenge is gonna be for us , we will definately fight it through .

thanks for being there for me whenever i needed you .
promise me that you 'll always stay with me and never let me go alrights ?
becos i'll do the same as well .
((:

i love you so much !
mwahhhhhs ~

" The Perfect Day ,
That I'll Never Forget . "

`` understanding is what i need from you . why cant u just get it ?

Personality TEST :

The idea of togetherness, love, warmth, tenderness and mutual understanding fascinates you but you seem to be embarrassed by the thought of allowing this to appear openly. It would appear that you employ a cautious exploratory tactic in the pursuit of this objective, making sure that you are neither irrevocably committed nor found out.You are in need of rest, some peace and quiet. You feel the need to be close to that someone special, that someone who can give you that special consideration and unquestioning affection that you seek. If you don't find that 'special someone' and resolve your problems very soon, you are liable to become extremely introverted and cut yourself off from society.Nothing seems to be going right for you and you are thwarted every way you turn. You are not at all happy with the situation but it would appear that there is very little that you can do about it at this time. Sit back and let the situation take its course, because at this time you feel that there is nothing you can do to change whatever needs to be changed.You are pretending that the situation around you doesn't matter, but the effort of trying to conceal your emotions and anxieties is resulting in untold stress. The existing situation is disagreeable. You feel unwanted and lonely and you would really like to associate with someone whose ideals are as high as your own. You want to be above the standard of mediocrity and this need to be needed and that need to need has almost become an obsession. You are trying to magnify the need into a compelling urge. You would really like to tell the world how great you are but no, you are holding back because you feel that your peers may treat you with contempt. This is a great pity because you have in fact a unique quality of character, but the continual restraint that you impose on yourself makes you suppress this need for others and you pretend you don't really care. You treat those who criticise you with contempt. However, to be honest, beneath this assumption of indifference you really long for the approval and esteem of others.It is strange that the anxiety that you are experiencing at this time is of your own making simply because of your desire to be respected by your fellow man and with those whom you work with. You are not satisfied. The normal congenial 'you' is becoming quite introverted. This is becoming increasingly more obvious because you seem to shy away from participating in everyday activities. You are refusing to allow yourself to become involved or to participate with others and it is the reluctance to communicate that is the inherent cause of your problems.


hmms ~
it turned out quite true for me though .


well , something did happen last nite ..
it was surpposed to be a happy event even though i was suffering from chest pain and breathless in the morning when i woke up . mom sent me to polyclinic . immediately, the nurse pushed me to the emergency side on the wheelchair . what they gave me was a plastic bag so that i cld breathe properly . did a heartbeat , blood pressure test and xray . everything seemed alright . doc said i was suffering from hyper ventilation . it may also be due to stress or something that occurs me which got me agitated thats why im like this .

went home to have a good rest . took a nap till 5 pm and realised dear was outside the gate waiting for me becos he was worried . so i was with him at my house downstairs . not long , his phobia occured to him . i cld do nothing but to stay by his side and console him . though i was feeling weak , but i told myself that i have to stay strong becos right now , he needs me . at around 8 plus , darling and jj came . so we joined them at playground .

as i dun wan to leave dear alone . i asked the both of us to accompany him first so that he wld not feel so lonely while i went up to have my dinner . half hr later , i went down to join them again . i thought that the four of us cld sit around and have a good chat .

however , in the end , it ended up darling and JJ . me and dear . we got separated . but i didnt mind at all becos mayb , darling and jj wanted to have their own time together or mayb the both of them wants to leave the both of us alone ?
rahhhs !

i donno . dear was feeling down again . so i stayed by his side and consoled him . suddenly , i heard my dad voice . he came down . he saw . JJ and jia en , me and dear . dear asked me , how ? i told him to calm down and just relax . but the fact was , i was already trembling . i kept myself cool and went home .

my dad was fuming becos he saw us hugging and we kissed . i understand , as a daughter of his . he is protective . doing all those in public is like equals to demanding sex from the girl . my heart just breaks when i heard this . mayb to him , i am already a " suei bian " girl . just anyhow let man and take advantage of me . but its not ! do you know how heartbreaking can i actually felt when he said that ?

i was feeling so suffocated .
i was feeling breathless and my poor mom gotta calm me down . i felt so weak . so weak to the fact that i almost felt like dying .

i dunno . i felt so confused . i didnt slept for the whole nite . i teared throughout day and nite . i felt too painful . i felt too hurt . understanding was what i need from him . i know my limits . i know what im doing . i just nd some air to breathe from now . i felt too suffocating for me to go on .

i dun hate him . i dun blame him . as a daughter of his . i understand how he feels . he is still my dad afterall and i love him . i admit i was in the wrong too . honestly speaking , im really scared of my dad becos in the past , what i received from him was scoldings and beatings . i didnt even dare to communicate with him .

the more you control ,
the more i wanna escape .
the fiercer you are ,
the more i wanna hide things from you .

sigh ~
i really felt terrible .
my chest still hurts ...

god ,
please give me the strength to carry on !

" Don't ever leave me alone ,

I need you . "

` ` DRIVING and chalet .

12.05 pm .. i started my first driving LESSON !
wheeets !

i'm feeling so EXCITED yet nervous .
hahas .
and the funny thing was .. i cant find my car till i have to ask other instructor for help .
LOLS .

for the first lesson , i learnt some stuffs of the inside car ... accelerating and reversing .. and i drove round the circuit !
woooots !
so fun .
wahhahaas ~

however , there's one negative situation was that .. the instructor kept talking to me and its really hard for me to concentrate when im driving ! rahhhhs ! then he kept on doing his stuffs . was kinda annoyed by it arhs . mayb next time , when i got used to it .. then will be okay lohs .

HEHS ~

met nek nek for lunch . finally she gets to eat her kfc . then i rush back to bbdc to take my ftp . okays ! im so-call rdy for evaluation . hopefully can faster pass so that i can fully concentrate on just driving .

=) .

went home to get myself change and met dear after that .
chalet chalet chalet ~
hees .
though felt abit wu liao but quite fun afterall .

reached home at 12 plus as i was unable to stay overnite due to personal reasons .
whatever it is , i may be joining them tml again .
wahahahas ~ !

i'm gonna go for driving lesson tml again ..
XD !
my leg is feeling so "suan " cos its really tiring to keep on depressing the clutch pedal okays ?

anyway ,
my beloved nek nek is travelling to korea tml nite .
so before she goes .. i wanna write this msg to her ....

dear nek nek ,
i really felt relieved after seeing you crying your whole heart out in pasir ris . my shoulders are always available for you whenever you need me alright ? dun worry abt scaring me or troubling me . its okay ? and i really hope dat u are feeling better .

you know , as u were walking alone , i was tagging u behind all along secretly becos i will never leave you suffering alone . when u told me u wanna be alone . i let you be . i know there are times it is best to be alone . however , there are also times when u really need someone to be with you . luckily , i was there .. to be your listening ear .. and also for you to vent everything out .

please take care and enjoy yourself when u are in korea okays ? though i will miss you but i know you will definately fly back . hees ! i'll be waiting for your call tml .

P.s : remember my pressies . =)

LOVES YOU ;
muackkks !

Pictures we took in chalet :

" In times like this ,

I will always be here whenever you need me . "

` SLow ...

mugging hard for hospitality sales :








Exams are finally over !
but why is it so .. that i dun the excitedness over it ?
on friday , just as i was abt to move on ... and it really took me quite sometime to forget the scene that really scares me .
unfortunately , it came back again ....

it happened in class . it flashes back my memory . the class was dark . dear and jaslin had to pull me out of the class .
i felt terrible .
i felt breathless .
my pains came back .

why ?!
why did it happen again ?

i got distracted while i was doing my paper . it came back all over and over and over again . then,
i told myself ...

" Geradine ..

be strong ..

be strong ..

do your best for this paper ..

don't get distracted .

its the last ..

the final one .

then there wont be anymore till next sem .

concentrate ! be focus !

Geradine you can .. "

i was shivering .

sigh ~

anyway , paper was alright arhhs . after that , went vivo with dear to relax for awhile before i went home to pack my stuffs and got myself change to meet jaslin .

ate dinner with her at bedok .

finally , i am able to have my ba chor mee !

hees .

been waiting for this day to arrive for centuries !

ba chor mee [ i cant bare to finish it . ] :


nek nek :

stingray and satays :

left the place at 10pm and went over to vanessa's place to celebrate min min's bday . it was a surprise celebration . she didnt noe till we scare her from behind and " pop " !
the cake was out .

((:

its been such a long time we have last chit chatted with one another . it was fun ! stayed up till 3am plus and we went to slp .

these were some crazy pics we took in vanessa's room ....

the bday girl [ i bought her a mini-bottle ] :

mad woman , vanessa :

that's me with the laptop . [ candid shot ] :

Spray you ! :

pretty lady :

okays ! i was being dare to kiss JUSTIN WEE by the two mad girls :


she was being dare to kiss someone and she chose : VANESSA ! =) :

at around 5am plus .. i suddenly woke up and saw myself in darkness once again . she switched off the lights . i shivered with fear . i told myself the same thing over and over again .

" its nth .
there's nothing to be afraid of .
just look at the lights outside ..
now, close your eyes and you'll be back to slp . "

thats what i did and it somehow works . van fetched me for vocal lesson . hahas . had a cool ride . it was the first lesson of the day for immediate . it turned out alright afterall . just some theory and stuffs . then , i went home to unpack my stuffs and off to meet dear , darling jia en and her bf-to-be , JJ .

LOLS .

it was a last min decision plan .
((:

watched invasion at TM . show was not bad arhhs .
toopid cinema so dark again !! it flashes me back and back and back again ! but i chose to remain quiet and be strong .
once again , i felt breathless . dear knew whats wrong . immediately , he attended to me .

throughout the whole journey back , i admit i was feeling a little emo . i was still trying to catch my breath . trying to act strong when im not even one . he knows i was faking . putting a false front in front of him . but he told me , he understands how am i going through .

instead of going back home , the both of us went to vivo instead . i just nd sometime to relax my mind . indeed it did make me better .

Thank you for all the encourgement that you have given me .

Without your surpport , i don't think i can hang on for so long .
It was you who keep me going .
I promise , i'll stay strong .

Not a definate but i'll try .

Slowly , this phobia of mine will disappear from me .

awwwws .
i dont noe when will i finally get through this but i'll try .

i'll never give up .

=) .

im feeling much better now .

it didnt affect me as much anymore .

i guess i just need time to really overcome this .

JIA YOUS JIA YOUS !

will be driving for the first time tml . hahas ! hope everything wld go just as fine .

feeling excited yet nervous .

heees ~

a busy day tml .

gonna have class chalet as well .

to my beloved nek nek :

hey this is a little short msg for you okay ? i hope it does make u feel better .
ok here it goes ...

i understand that you have been going through alot these few days .

though i know all along you have been acting strong but i chose to keep quiet .

becos i was afraid it might somehow reminded you again .

on friday , when we were at bedok .. i cld feel the hurt that you are going through . the problems that you are facing , it isnt easy . plus , when u told me your probs todae , your hurt increased . i know u are tired of these but hang on okays ? hang on strong ... dont ever fall .

you know , the moment you told me that you have no one to share your burdens with ? my heart broke . somehow , i felt myself being a failure as a fren of urs . i may not be your bestfren .. i may not be anything . its just like what you have always told me whenever you wrote emails , friendster comments and letters to me ...

"i'll always be here for you whenever you nd me . 24/7 "

i may not be good in words but there's one thing for sure .. these two ears of mine will always be available for you .. to allow me to hear and for you to vent out your emotions . also , my shoulders are always here for you to lean on whenever you are exhausted.

if there's ever ever one day .. you really felt like leaving your home , my doors are always open for you okays ? im sorry i cant you much but i'll try my best whenever i can .

seeing you being so heartbroken , somehow hurts me too .

be strong and im sure you can do it .
JIA YOUS nek nek !
i hope to see you cheer up soon .
i wan back my nek nek .

LOVES ;

mwahhhhs !

" Make the impossible ...
To turn them into possible . "