` Sorry . i didn't mean it .

woke up at 1 pm todae .
slept at 4 plus last nite to accompany dear as he was feeling very down .
his phobia occured to him again and it hurts him real badly .
was planning to find him but he found me instead . waited for me at my hse downstairs and we went to bbdc together . he accompanied me .
stupid bus was making me feeling sick !
headache .
the feeling was so uncomfortable as it was stuffy and jerky .
yikes ~ !

gonna try my final theory evaluation next wk as i passed most of practise booklets already. hopefully i wld pass . then i cld go on to the next step and that is driving !
=) .
schedules were mostly booked already . gotta book it fast and get the test done before my membership expires !
rahhhs ~
i wasted so much time before and now i am starting to regret it .

)):

went vivo after that .
for the first time i have seen him so hurt .
for the first time i saw him teared on my shoulders .
it was the total oppsite of him .
it wasnt his usual self .
he felt so weak and could hardly utter a word .
it hurts me seeing him like this .

honestly , i almost cry seeing him feeling so painful .
i'm sorry for creating all these .
i really didnt mean it to happen ...
though no one was at fault but i still blame myself for creating it .
i felt myself as some kind of murderer .
i have hurt someone whom i love so deeply .
i could no longer forgive myself mayb till later when he is back to normal ?
i dunno .

all i could now was to be by his side whenever i can .
i'm sorry ........

do not be afraid ..

i will always there for you ..

no matter how many times it occurs to you ..

no matter how many times you repeat the same problems to me ,

i will never be sick of it ..

instead ,

i will be here for you to be your listening ear ..

to cheer you up and make you feel better .

i promise you , i will grow back the way it used to be .

i promise you , i will no longer cut short anymore ...

reason being , i could no longer afford myself to hurt you once again ..

its hurtful .

im sorry for hurting you so deeply .
please forgive me ...

i love you so .

met up with darling jia en at my hse playground after leaving vivo at 7 plus . she was feeling a little down as well .
as a darling of hers , i shld be there for her . after meeting up with her , seeing her smile once again .. it does made me felt better and i'm glad that JJ was there to accompany her too .
=) .

she brought her cute little hamster down . it was simply adorable and i was playing with it .
hahas !
it cheered me up a little though .
left at 8 plus as i had to be home for dinner .

how i wish i could have a little pet too ..
SIGH ~

" How i wish i could turn back time ..
But , i guess ..

It's no longer possible anymore . "