` accOunts paper 2

DAMN MY WEAK HANDS !
DAMN MY ACCOUNTS !
DAMN MY MEMORY !
DAMN !
DAMN !!
DAMN !!!
DAMN !!!! .....

i am so disappointed wid myself. i'm so freaking pissed off wid my hands .. i am so freaking pissed off wid my health . .wadever it is .. I AM JUST, PISSED OFF ! f*** ..

pardon me for being rough in my words todae. cos it just didnt go well for me. terrible incident happen during examination. this was wad happens :

while doing my papers half way , i guess it was when i was doing t, p& L , appropriation account . Question 4 ? my hand started to shiver unknowningly. i felt very weak .i felt no strength in me. i was perspiring a little. can u imagine ? inside the audi ? it was so cooling .. air conditioned in the auditorium and yet , i can still perspire ?!! wad the heck is happening to me ?!! i was realli scared . i am freaking out.

" pls do not do this to me at this time ..
pls gib me back my strength...
i nd it badly . "

i cant even draw my lines straight nor write properly . i was writing so slowly & for that, i wasted alot of time . then , i started to forget the format a little . memory of accounts start fading away . i was praying to god so badly while doing my work . thank god , i gained back some of my strength after mins later . however, i was still feeling weak . i did not finish my paper eventually. =(...

4PM ...
chief examiner : times up ! pls stop writing .

i tied up all my papers and wrote my name on the cover page . my shivering symptoms came back again. i cant write my name well . the invigilator was waiting for me. i felt so bad for taking such a long time as i cld not tie my scripts properly wid the string as well . toopid hand of mine !! i aplogsied to him .this invigilator was realli kind & he said thank you to me once i handed up my papers. hahs !

now that i handed up my papers , i told myself...
"okay . now that i handed up my paper , its over ! its over ! stop thinking abt it .. "

i was checking my table .. and i found another script on my table ..i was like , " oh shucks ! " i quickly raised up my hand , he came back to me again . i quickly tied them up together .. freaking myself out again . urghs ! once again, i apologised to him and he said "thank you again" . so polite of him .

WADS WRONG WITH ME TODAE ?!!
why did i haf this symptoms todae ?
whyyyy ??
why issit at this timing ??????

is this my 3rd challenge dat i'm going to face ? didnt i pray for smooth examination todae ? why did it happen this way ??

i admit i was feeling so moody after my papers . didnt haf the mood to talk nor do anything . i just wanna leave this auditorium and go home .. i'm so screwed up wid my accounts .. i wanna be alone for a moment and remained quiet to myself . went to buy orange juice from canteen as i was thirsty and then took 124 home wid darling .

overall , the paper was indeed tough this yr . even the a1 students said that too . it was tricky . can u tell me ? why did the person who set this paper for dis yr set so tricky and tough dis yr ? why did they set differently from the past few yrs ? why must they torture us this time ? arghhhhs ! DAMN IT ! i guess no one is satisfied wid this yr paper. not to say no one. but MOST!

hopefully that they wld be able moderate the marks . even the express students cant even finish the paper nor balance the balanced sheet . guess the person who set this yr pinned too higgh hopes on us . lolls ! we are not that smart actually. =P..

felt much better when i reached home . though was still feeling weak but better . haishhh . if only i am back to normal during my exams. i guess its all fate. its over already . i cant even do anything. i cant even turn back time. i ve handed up & dats it ! no more turning back .

surprisingly, i did not cry even though i was pissed off wid myself .. normally tears wld just flow down automatically. bud now, it just didnt . the fact is that, i cant even cry out . lolls ! i am strong ! heh heh .. i guess, i haf changed . i am no longer the geradine i used to be anymore . now, that accounts paper 2 is over , i'm left wid paper 1 . i just hope that it is not as tough as the paper 2 . at least that, wld gib me back abit of hope. otherwise, i wld just face hell & dats the end of my route .

sigh ~

guess wad ? i haf been dreaming weird dreams continuously everday for this wk . oh well . say me that i'm under depression or wad. i dun even care ! i guess i'm used to it as well . but at least they are no longer as scary as i dreamt of the break up. LOLS ! anw, i am sure all these nitemares would not last that long as it mayb due to stress ? let's just wait and see till my exam are over when i'm stress free... !!

dreaming of weird dreams everyday
is already torturing ..
now,
i even haf dis face this BIG DISPPOINTMENT of mine ..
just let me forget this..
& not remembering it .
it just hurts me to think back ..
& freaks me up .
so i pray hard to god for now..
pls do not let this terrible incident happen to me anymore .
=)