adrian shocked me wid the sms that he sent me in the morning at 8 plus. basically i do nortt noe wad the hell is wrong wid this guy ? i do not noe the conflict between he & vanessa . is it so serious to the extent that loosing friendship wld be the best choice among all ?
do you think by doing this would rather make us even happier ? why ? why must u always make me & en being worried for you ? i cared you so much as a fren & now u said becos of vanessa's email, u decided to loose us ? with you doing this would make me feel even more guilty ! becos the cause .. the fault ... all lies within me.
I BLAME MYSELF FOR BEING HARSH !
I BLAME MYSELF FOR SENDING THE MSG !
I BLAME MYSELF FOR BEING IN A FOUL MOOD AT THE MOMENT OF TIME !
are u happy now ? i helped u so much during the past 1/2 yrs & i told myself . i will never ever gib up in helping you no matter how bad the situation was & now u are doing this. you gave up on ur own instead . do u even tink its worth it ? all my efforts have gone to waste. why are u doing this adrian ? why ?!!
I just dun get wad u are thinking . if i know this wld have happen, i wouldnt haf help you at ALL in the first place ! if leaving us will do you good, if you think its worth it, loosing a fren .. i haf nth to say but just let you do as you wish.
GOODBYE MY FREN !
I WISH YOU ALL THE BEST IN EVERYTHING ...
TAKE CARE ..
its my ever first time loosing a fren like this . yea ! i felt horrible . i helped the person so much . i have never ever given up hope but the other party decided to lose it. so wad can i say ? one word , and thats GOODBYE ! if that decision can make the other party happy then so be it . even if i were to hold on & ask the person to be-fren again will make their life so miserable , then wads the point ? so i rather let the person go & be happy. live the way wad they wanna live .
like wad ppl have said ..
" friendship comes & go .. "
was reading thru my friendster profile & testimonials tat ppl have sent to me . i just wanna recall some memories that i had in the past. then i saw dar sent me those ! aiyooos . it made me misses him so darn much larhhs .
I'M GOING CRAZY LE LARHS .
sat, may u pls arrive early ? *
so, i looked thru his profile . wanted to recall wad testimonials i sent for him & i realised he had deleted them . you know wad ? my heart was smashed . abit exaggerating ehs ? hahs ! it used to be there & now its been gone . mayb i shld not have even read his testimonials in the first place or rather , mayb i shld not have even viewed his profile . in this place i would not have known . wanted to write him one initially. bud since he can even bothered to delete them , then wads the use of writing it ? he wouldnt even treasure it ! say it that , he have changed his status to single . i am already sad enough and now he even dare to delete it . then wad can i say ?
arhhhhs ! forget it i'm not gonna let it bother me.
i basically had enough of everything !!
ENOUGH IS ENOUGH !
everytime,
when i was abt to let go all my problems ..
& be happy once again ,
new ones starts to appear .
THEN WAD DO YOU EXPECT ME TO DO ?
WAD AM I SURPPOSED TO DO ?
i am exhausted . im realli exhausted . sometimes i realli felt myself being failure in life . i wanted to help bud it turned out to be unsucessful instead of the other way . i was expecting a good result bud it turned out to be the other way round .
wadever it is ,
its a new month..
its a new beginning .
i will try my best to face it no matter wad .
so , wads my plan for this month ?
i'm going to give myself a wk break before i start finding another job. i nd rest . during this one wk , i'm gonna find the courses that i wan to attend .
that is my vocal & driving lessons . these two are the ones that i am yearning to learn right now . after knowing my posting results , i wld also have to settle on my poly stuffs . so this month may not be an entirely free month for me . once poly stuffs have been settled, i wld resume my organ lessons back again so that i cld finish my grade 5 course & graduate from there . in this way, i wld be eligible to be an organ teacher as my part time job in future.
whether i found a job this month isnt an impt thing becos i simply had too many things to settle . $ is not a factor to me cos i just wanna do the things i wan & lead my life happily . i dun wanna stress myself too much . hopefully during this march i'm able to travel overseas as well for a few days . so dat i'm able to get myself a gd break before sch starts .
gonna trained myself & be fit ! hahs . i ve slacking for these few months . its tyme for me to buck up by loosing all my fats and gained my muscles BACK ! i lost my muscles . i want back my STAMINA i used to have !! now i ve to get them back . at the same time, TANNING toooo ~ ..
hohohohos .
its also tyme that i ve to prepare dar's 1 yr anni gift . though i still have 1 month to go . i just wanna settle this thing fast . i dun wanna rush things at the very last min bud just get my things in prepared . just in case that i wld be busy & do not have the time to do when the date is nearer . so, gotta start brain cracking for now. i roughly had the things in mind .
* clue : it wld mostly be more on handwork & creativity than spending of $$ .
was chatting wid my mom on msn .. hahs ! surprised to hear that ehhs ? i taught her using that . she became so pro outta it . well . came to realise that i ve neglect my family quite abit now. cos everynite when i came home , wad i cld do was to hide in my room & do my own things. i hardly socialise wid them unlike wad i did in the past when i was young . so , from now onwards . i am going to spend my nites wid them . i'm not gonna spend nites in the room for long . plus , i'm gonna help my mom by doing more hsework to lighten up her burden .
wows ! i'm such a FILLIAL dotter already .
heard that ?
okay !
dun puke !
LOLS !
yeps ! thats roughly the plan i'm going to spend for this month . hopefully everything goes well .
" u will no longer see the geradine u used to see ..
bud instead ,
seeing the geradine whom has turned differently .. "
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