WHY ?! why cant i just smile normally ? why cant i be back to myself ? why do i have to false myself to smile which i dont want to ? i felt so weak and numb suddenly ....
all these , happened to me during eng lesson todae . kelvin had grp presentation . he slipped his mind and switch off the lights . i thought i was ok at first because the projector lights were on but never did i thought , i started to shiver and i felt uneasy again . flashback came .. slowly , i calmed myself down ..
during kitchen demo , people may think i mayb back to myself again . however, i wasnt . i just kept my mind busy and tried to stop thinking abt it . i was feeling really really weak . so , i was being nice by copying notes for jaslin and drew many tortises on her foolscape to keep my mind off from all these tortourous things .
after demo , the sisters wanted to come to my hse to have dinner at first but then , wenting ask them to go to their hse instead as they were playing mj . i didnt joined them in the end as i wasnt feeling rather well . hahas ! my boonting so cute . thought i was angry with her . she came towards me and spoke to me privately .
to wenting :
hey sis ! i wasnt angry at all arhhs ! i got so small gas mehs ? dont worry abt it okay ? sorry that i didnt join you girls as i wasnt feeling well . next time okay ? then i come .. hope you have fun with the rest !
LOVES .
took a train home with kelvin , nic , dear and jaslin . kelvin and nic took the ne line while the 3 of us went to sgh together cos my dear dear dunno how to go to sgh . he needs to pay a visit to his grandma . in the end , the both of us brought him there . hees ! we were his tour guide .
=)
after that, jaslin and i left and we took a bus down to bukit merah to take away Pizza hut. my god ! i have been craving that for a long time and finally i got to eat them .
YEAHHHS !
the funny thing was , when we were waiting for the food to be ready , the both of us found a seat to settle down . she started mentioning to me abt financial stuffs . then it occured to me that , im surpposed to control her finance . so whta i did was , i took her cards and kept it with me .
so from now onwards , i OFFICALLY PRONOUNCED that im FHENG NEK NEK's FINANCIAL CONTROLLER ! she is not allowed to spend anyhow unless she seeks my permission . otherwise she is gonna spend like nobody business .
LOLS !
thus, she regretted reminding me .
hees !
anw , we went back home and had dinner together . then we started watching tv and had some fun . she went home at 11 plus .
Thanks nek nek for keeping my mind off .
muacks!
whatever it is , im not thinking abt it anymore larhs . life still goes on for me . im just gonna be strong no matter how exhausted im . the most i just brag and cry over it . then after that , i will be fine .
LOLS .
sounds so crazy but thats just me . i cant possibly just stay in this little tiny hole all these while . it wld just made me go mad and soon , i guess , u will find me in mental hosp already . but of cos , i mean touch wood larhs . hahs !
from todae till mon , im gonna have a good rest for myself as there wont be anysch for me till tues . there's only 1 1/2 hrs of lesson on fri and thats it !
yeps !
so lets just take a good break . have a good rest and things are gonna be fine as before . im gonna be the girl you used to see . however , it may not be the old one but the geradine who is changing herself to be a better , a stronger girl you see in life .
so ,
JIA YOUS !
((:
" Grant me in becoming a strong girl ,
So that I'm able to fight this through . "
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