SHEET !
i had no idea why this feeling is coming back again . mayb many things are on my mind ? somehow things are piling up . however , i just didnt realise it ? i didnt tell anyone because i, myself don even noe what issit . so , i just kept to myself .
* FORGIVE me for not telling my probs to my close ones . i had my reasons to . hope you understand .
i felt so crazy to the fact that i just felt like torturing myself by putting myself in the dark . switching off my room lights and just go to bed .. having nightmares and be a zombie the next day .
but don worry . this is just a crazy stupid thinking of mine . it wont happen . i wont even do such a stupid thing to torture myself . ohs ~ mayb many bad things have been happening to me and i just wan all the bad things to just come to me at one go ? so , i can just suffer and then enjoy the next ?
LOLS .
im just out of my mind . anw , todae was the last day of practical in kitchen . cooking starts early todae and seems like the trainer is in a good mood . i see him SMILE most of the time . hahas ! me and mich were busy throughout . we cooked chicken piccata with tomato sauce . there were additional of spaghetti , french beans and carrots too ! =) .
i bring back some home to let my mom tried becos i wont be doing any cooking in kitchen already for this term . so shall let my mom tried . hope it taste good though . hahas ! next week is gonna be exam ! rahhhhhs ~ time really flies ehhs . its the 10th week already .
you know what ? after cooking , i was wondering , why was my finger kinda black . then i realised , my fourth finger's hairs were sort of gone . haha . burnt off already . me and mich were laughing out loud ! it wasnt pain though .
lesson ended kinda early todae . took bus home and i spent the nite socialising with my family till about 9 plus . i came online after that .
my head kinda hurts now . guess like i said before , many thoughts just came to my mind . just give me some time to sort them out first .
if you guys realised somehow i wasnt myself in sch , just let me be for who im okay ? i just wanna take my mind off . thanks !
i suddenly felt that im changing . changing to a person who is not a total real me . someone else different . a stranger maybe ? i donno what have i become honestly . i just do what i have to do and not i wanna do . alrights ! i donno what the hell am i typing . don't worry i'll be fine tml . just wanna type out how am i feeling now becos inside my heart , is feeling very choked up right now . i'm afraid one day , i would just go mad . i would just explode .
will that become an end of me ?
i wanna be strong like someone else could . its just there too many setbacks day after day really gets me exhausted . ever since the start of my injury till now , there's is never one day a good day for me . i really have no idea of handling anymore .
" The strength of mine ,
Where did it disappear to ? "
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