`` better BUT weak .

i teared but i cant teared entirely .
i wanna slp but i cant get myself to .

i was feeling terrible . really terrible . im starting to feel numb . i donno what to feel and i donno how to feel myself . therefore , my mind starts to wander even more . i wanna msg to someone but i was feeling too weak to .


in the morning , i almost lost my right contact lens . i was cleaning my eyes and it dropped on the floor . i didnt realised initially . it was until one side of my vision was blur . i squat down .. using my hands to touch the ground . walking round after rounds . but still , i cld not find . i felt so annoyed with myself to the fact that i just sat on the cold floor and scream out loud . crying like nobody's business becos no one was at home . i was all alone .

i was praying hard to god to let me find . i did not give up a single bit at all becos this contact lens gives me sendimental value and i cant afford to lose it at all . it means alot to me .
Not long after , i guess god received my prayers and she found it for me !
Thank GOD so much !

unfortunately , the moment i found it , i wasnt smiling a single bit at all . i found no feelings within me . got myself prepared to sch . took a bus down . i could not even catch a wink . my eyes was wide open big even though my mind was in a sleeply mode . i just felt so emotioness .
SIGH ~

my nek nek was so kind to make sandwich and bring vitasoy drink for me . that's for my lunch . Thank You nek nek !

the moment i reached class , was like bringing my dead body to school . everything is awake except my mind . feeling so restless . stoning away . i didnt have the mood to do anything but just stay at my seat and do nothing .

school ended at 4 plus . took train home with my sisters , nicholas and dear . mostly everyone was feeling exhausted and moody . the train was quiet . it wasnt the usual us at all . but i cld really tell that dear was trying to lighten things up . i , myself was trying my best to smile as well and i did . at least i tried my best .

dear accompanied nic to vivo to have some guys talk as he was feeling rather emo . poor thing . wanted to join them but i was feeling too weak to . so dear and nic sent me to the bus stop at vivo and i took bus home .

Bung , if u happened to read my blog , just to let you know that i'm willing to be your listening whenever u nd so as well . ((:
just one more day left and u will be able to use ur comp again ! take care !

anw , i'm feeling a little better already but still struggling . no matter what, im still hanging on strongly . nothing will put geradine down right ?
hees ~
what i really need now are just a little moral surpport from my close ones and thats all i need to keep me going .

" Remove these scars of mine .

It hurts . "