` SIGH ...

been really exhausted these few days as there are simply loads of things to do . i didnt even have time to have a good rest . relatives from canada have came over to singapore and they stayed over at my place . so , my family have been touring them around .

i know its really tiring . they were so shagged out . they left to malaysia in the afternoon . my parents will be joining them on sat to attend my relative's wedding except me and my bro as we had work to catch up . all of them will be back on sunday afternoon and will give them a farewell dinner before they catch their flight on mon .

I will definately miss them !

had f and b operations during ytd and todae . it was pretty fun yet tiring . though was kind of pissed off with some people but i controlled my temper especially todae .
grrrs !

as for ytd , me , aikho , aloy and jaslin were in the kitchen doing pantry and wash up . hees hees ! managed to cope food here and there . we were having mock service . the people outside had to be serious , while the people inside can slack a little .
hahas ! took pictures ! but when it comes to work, we get serious with it . there's one thing i cld tell is that , our legs were damn TIRED ! imagine standing 5 hours walking here and there with our black shoes ?

T_T .

I arranged it ! wahahhas ! :


marina doing vacumming :


it's washing time ( i had some fun doing it though becos its my first time using this tap ! hahs ) :


LALAs ~ :


nek nek took over :


copy cat me ! :


They are all POLISHED CLEAN :


getting rdy to serve dinner .. the food made us all HUNGRY ! :





our tired feets :


sisterly :


the BLACKS :


the food are TEMPTING US :


the WHITES :


aikho and me :


i LOVE them :


DRINK DRINK DRINK :


all can't remove the burnt stains BUT I CAN ! hohohos ~ it is CLEAN ! claps claps ! :


drying up :


alright come to the real part of it . something terrible did occured to me since wed . right now , i have been trying to shake it off but the scene just came on and off . honestly speaking , those laughters that i am showing to my frens , my family .. were all FAKE . there isnt a real side of me at all . reason being , my phobia had came back when i was in the bus on my way home .

it was crowded in the bus . i was afraid of the dark becos i had bad experience in the past . so , the bus was dark . the lights in front was switched off . mayb becos there was some prob with the light bulb . i tried to calm myself down . however , somehow , it didnt not help . in fact i started shivering as i moved up becos what i see were dark faces and that got me afraid more .

i broke down while i was bathing when i reached home . i totally cld not take it . the scene came back to me over and over again .. for the whole nite i cld not slp . i broke down . on thurs , i was only better during in the afternoon . in the evening while we were in the kitchen , aloy accidentally off the lights . it was pitch dark once more . i tried to calm myself . luckily jaslin , aikho .. in fact many lovely classmates were with me . and i dun blame aloy becos he didnt mean it . in fact , he kept apologising to me . so i said it was ok .

i started shivering again .. jaslin cld tell how badly my hand was shaking . she saw . as i went back , i was quiet throughout . feeling so afraid ... feeling so lonely ..

and todae , lights were off becos they changed the lightings as there were guests from outside . i was feeling really distracted . so i just kept myself busy by seeing empty plates and i just clear even though im not surpposed to do it . becos i just dun wanna think abt it anymore . i may just go crazy .

Now , as i opened my book to study , the scene flash back to me again !
WHY ?
WHY ARE YOU COMING BACK TO ME AGAIN AND AGAIN ?!!

just as i was abt to get over it , you came back to me ..
do you know how tiring i am ?
do you know how much i wanna forget abt this ?
but i cant ..
its too scary !!
how long are u gonna torture me further ?
im feeling so numb ..
i seriously dunno how to feel myself anymore ..
and i dunno what am i doing either ..
im so distracted ..

SIGH ~

im having test tml . i dun wanna get distracted too much . im just gonna keep myself busy and keep my mind off for the time being .
im tired.
im seriously exhausted .

my head hurts everytime it came back ......
i dunno how long can i hold this ..
please keep me strong ..

" I'm afraid ...
When will this ever end ? "