2.30pm .
results are out .
my hands were shivering when i was collecting it.
i almost cried.
yes i do .
when i saw it ,
great disappointment i had within me .
my mind is in blank.
i do not know wad to do .
i felt so much lyke crying bud i haf to stay strong in front of my frens.
though was wishing someone at that moment to hug me tight ,
however, there wasnt anyone.
was surprised to see my mom entering my sch hall .
i dun even dare to let her see though she was comforting me.
i dun wanna talk .
i dun wish talk .
all i gave her was sign language.
THAT'S IT .
in my heart,
it began to sink .
when she left.
i felt so much like being alone in the sch hall .
but yet again, wishing someone to come over & hug me.
was there anyone ?
no there wasnt .
i was putting a false front in front of my frens.
pretending to be strong.
comforting my frens at the very end.
i broke down eventually when dar called me asking me how my result was .
at the moment of time cher was beside me .
she was hugging me & i had to comfort her.
i had no choice but to accompany her & told dar dat i wld call him back later .
i EXPLAINED to him already .
why cant he understand ?
why must he send me this kind of msg which hurt me so badly ?
" forget it if you dun wanna tell me... i dun wanna know liao .. u wan den u call me.. i now on my way home..just finish camp . "
i thought he wld be able to come and find me .
he said he wld .
bud did he ?
NO !
i thought he wld be able to comfort me.
did he ?
NO .
instead, not replying my msges nor calling me !
whr is he when i needed him most ?
wad haf i done ?
i dun find any fault in me.
i just nd his understanding that im already sad enough .
i felt so hurt !
so deeply hurt !
i just wan him to be by myside for the moment .
I HATE TODAY !
I HATE MYSELF !
I HATE MY RESULTS !
i cried all my heart out when i reached home .
gonna stay over at my cousin place
as i dun wish to be home tonite.
i just wanna travel to a quiet place for me to calm down.
oh GOD !
SAVE ME PLS !
i'm feeling so unwell.
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